Episode Transcript
Think meditation is hard? Do me a favor, take a slow deep breath in and now breathe out. Congratulations, you just meditated. Hi, I’m Krystal Jakosky, and this is Breathe In, Breathe Out: a Weekly Mindfulness and Meditation podcast for anyone ready to own their own shit and find a little peace while doing it.
Welcome to Breathe In, Breathe Out. I'm Krystal Jakosky and life. Life is fantastic. Oh my gosh. I'm constantly learning. I tell you guys I am learning. I am growing. I am trying, and I love sharing my inspirations with you. I love sharing my insights with you and the shifts and differences that happen. I will talk to you guys about meditation. I've talked about how meditation needs to be, whatever works for you at that moment. And recently, it's happened more than once. I had a new insight into meditation and I really wanted to share it with you because it's poignant. Yeah, I get it. So most of the time when, when we think about meditation, we think about the quiet moments, right? The wind in the trees, the birds singing, our breath as we walk or run.
Maybe it's gentle music or a guided meditation. It's more soothing. We think of meditation as something where we are tuning out the world, tuning into our hearts. And that requires added peace if you will. But reality says meditation is simply a moment that helps to clear your mind and be present, the moment that we sink into our breath and cherish the gift of that moment. Now, on occasion, my mind is more like a rapidly spinning hamster wheel. It's a robotic hamster. So there is no way that that hamster's going to get tired. It is going to go and go and go and go and, thought after thought. Some of them swim aimlessly and some of them are things that I am mulling over and brooding on experiences that I've had. Some are annoying and frustrating and others are very peaceful, but they're always marching.
They're always floating. They're always going and moving. And on occasion when I have this, I'll sit outside and I'll hope to calm it down. I might walk my labyrinth hoping that it relaxes. I might play a game or do a puzzle, or play the piano. I might do anything that will please slow down the wheels and help me find that calm at the moment. And nothing happens. My efforts were futile on so many different levels, and I could not get this hamster wheel with a perpetual squeak to stop. Just stop for a moment. And I would beg and plead because I needed that break. And yet I couldn't find that break until I found myself in an unbelievably loud space. There's no possibility of speaking to anyone due to the noise, and no music. And initially, I wanted to get out of this discomfort, because who wants to be in such a loud, obnoxious space?
Who wants to suffer through that? Yet I needed to be there for my own reasons. And the longer I was in this deafening noise, the more my mind cleared. I was surprised. I put in earplugs, which softened into the racket, and yet the conversation was still out of the realm of possibilities. So here I am in this loud space, and I was left alone with my thoughts. And magically, suddenly I found that there was a lack. There was a lack of thoughts. There was a lack of mulling. The hamster wheel wasn't squeaking anymore. And I was literally in deafening silence. And that's when my beautiful inspiration came. It was a reminder that I have been here before. The turning thoughts and the running dialogue. The last time that I was here, my mind, my brain was so full with so many things going on, I found myself by a rolling river.
Now, when I found myself there by that unbelievably loud river, I had gone there thinking that the river would lull my mind and that I would relax enough to be inspired. I thought that I could just sit down and immediately begin writing because I needed to get some stuff out. I needed to get some stuff done. I needed to work, but my mind was so full of other stuff that I kept avoiding and procrastinating. And initially, when I sat down next to that river, there were still so many thoughts that I could not write. So I sat there for a few minutes. It was so loud. And the crazy thing was that deafening silence lulled me into meditation and inspiration. Meditation. I did not get to that fantastic state by traditional, quiet, lotus pose, breathing, and quietness at the moment.
That quiet meditation would not have served me. It did not serve me. I had been trying, I had been seeking and searching and hoping to find that piece. And it was so elusive because I could not get my brain to shut up, couldn't get it to quiet down. No matter what journaling I did, no matter what talking I did, no matter what process and tools I used on my own to try to get my brain to calm down, it was not working until I found deafening silence. I allowed the volume to drown out the voices and the thoughts in my head. As I said, I've needed this before. I've found myself in this state of ruminating and cacophony before. And the one thing that ends up quieting everything is literally deafening silence. It's the hammers and drills on a construction site. It's a circular saw, ripping through two-by-fours.
It's the roaring ocean. When you sit on the beach, you listen to it crashing. Maybe it's the concert and the unbelievably loud music of your favorite band. The roar of a crowd at a ball game. Deafening silence can be a form of meditation. Giving yourself that loudness that literally drowns out all possibility of thought. It just goes away. There's nothing left. Self-care and meditation absolutely look different depending on where you're at and what you're experiencing at the moment. So what I want to say to you today is the next time that your regular self-care, your regular go-to, absolutely always fixes it for you. Self-care does not meet your needs. Play with something else. Turn up the volume, and see what you can find. I look forward to having you back here again next week on Breathe In. Breathe Out.
I hope this moment of self-care and healing brought you some hope and peace. I’m @krystaljakosky on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube and I hope you check us out and follow along for more content coming soon. I look forward to being with you again here on Breathe In, Breathe Out. Until next time, take care.
