Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:00 Hello, and welcome back to breathe in, breathe out. I'm crystal jacobowsky and I'm excited to share this wonderful man with you. His name is Bo BI, so welcome to breathe in, breathe out.
Speaker 1 00:00:12 Thank you so much. I really appreciate you having me today.
Speaker 0 00:00:15 Yeah. I'm excited for this conversation. I'm excited to open up, um, more understanding and more clarity in how we can come through a bunch of crap and challenges that we've put ourselves in to then find new, personal understanding and new growth. So you have quite the story. Would you share with our audience a little bit about you and what brought you to this place?
Speaker 1 00:00:47 Of course, I'd love to the biggest thing that I've dealt with that I've fall. Most of my entire life has been running, running from things. And I realize as I've went through the work that I do now, um, that, that originated when I was at 12 years old, my parents sat me and my brother down in their bedroom called us together. It's like family meeting. They sat us down and they told us that we were, they were getting divorced. And my initial reaction was I, I stood up, ran out the bedroom, out the house and just like out, out the neighborhood into the woods. And I came back later that night cuz I was 12 years old and I didn't know where else to go cause I was hungry. Yeah. Uh, so anyway, but yeah, that, and that was my, that became my de facto response.
Speaker 1 00:01:44 When I got anxious, when I got scared, when you know things weren't going right for me, I just run. And you know, some people, you know, they, you know, quit a job or, you know, they moved the house or, you know, my thing ended up being eventually like I would just run, I, I left leave the country. So in my twenties I left, um, I left America. I had re reignited my love affair with cocaine and cause I'd started making some pretty good money. And so, and at that time I'd already been in two accidents. I'd been in two drunk, drunk, uh, drunk accidents. The first one I was when I was 19, um, I was, I was, it was a single car accident. I was, I was drunk. I was driving. I was, there was a, the cop on the scene. He, he witnessed the whole thing. I was going a hundred miles an hour. I flipped the car, uh, into a telephone pole, actually threw a telephone pole cause I broke a path. And then I ended up in the yeah, obviously in the hospital and on the way there or some sometime between that. And the time that I became conscious, um, I did my grandfather who had passed away before I was born, showed up and told me, he was like, you know, it's not your time. Like go back.
Speaker 1 00:03:18 And so then two years later I did the same thing. I was skateboarding. I was drunk. I left a fraternity house and I was on the skateboarders going back to shower to go back to the party cuz I left to work and I stopped and drank some beers and then had headed, you know, shower. And I got hit by a car and almost lost my leg. I got a staph infection. It was just a nasty. Right. So then in my twenties and I did, I was got, I got heavy on cocaine. And then I was like, uh, I, I couldn't tell my parents, like, you know, I'd already done so much damage. And I was just like, I'm leave it man. And literally I gave away everything. I owned, um, I booked a flight to London. I had a buddy there who was, uh, just got outta the military.
Speaker 1 00:04:09 He was working in the private sector. And so I was like, yeah, go see him for a little bit. And I don't know what happened. And on the way to the airport, I get my brother, the keys in my car, like, uh, steers, man, do whatever you want with it. And um, yeah, I just left it and I started bouncing around from country to country and you know, everything, uh, I had saved some money, so, you know, it helped me, it gave me the ability to, if I did feel, you know, stressed or uncomfortable, I just leave. And I left, I started in England. Then I went to the Czech Republic. Then I went to Taiwan and I bounced from Taiwan to Mexico and then Vietnam, Spain and back to Taiwan and several farms. So it was, uh, that was my journey. I was, um, basically drinking and, and slowly killing myself with, you know, these addictions and running most of my, most of my life until my, my late thirties.
Speaker 1 00:05:16 And that's when I really figured I called my brother. I was in Vietnam at time. I was basically passing out in the gutters of a third world country and I had lost everything. I lost, uh, a business that I was working on. I just lost a girlfriend. Um, I was teaching English at the time I lost that job and like I had had nothing. Um, I called my brother and I was sniffing heroin at the time called my brother. I was like, dude, I don't, I dunno, what's going on. I like, I don't know where I'm at. What's going. Like, which way is up. It's just, I, my life is, I don't know what was like, like, come on, come back home. We'll sort you out. And so I went, if I flew back to the states and um, as soon as I got there, I was like, oh my God, what did I do?
Speaker 1 00:06:07 Like, you know, I've I enjoyed, you know, I enjoyed being overseas. I enjoyed, you know, the life I've living. I enjoyed running away and now I had to face, you know, I had to face everything. Yeah. So that was tough. And I was like, what, how, how am I gonna get myself outta this situation? So I was, I dunno, I like traveling. I like cycling at this at that point. I'd cycled through Taiwan, around Taiwan, through Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand. So I was like, all right, I'll just get a bicycle. And I ride my way across America. And I was like, you know, I'll write a blog. And I, you know, I'll just become like a travel writer. Yeah. So I started on the east coast, like, like on the beach in Atlanta beach, North Carolina. And I made it all the way to, uh, start my last time was San Diego.
Speaker 1 00:06:59 And so I made it wow. You know, I went all the way across, but like nothing materialized way. I didn't, you know, I didn't get the job that I wanted or I didn't, you know, the business create the business that I wanted and ended up with my and uncle. And they were like, come back, you know, we'll help to deal on your feet. Um, I was, uh, I, when I was with my aunt and uncle, I was up to about a case of beer. Actually. It was about an 18 pack. Cause you could get those at, uh, either car, uh, Costco, Costco or wine plus, um, yeah, you could get an 18 pack. So I, I got an 18 pack and I was going through that each day and I was drinking Jack Daniel at night. I put myself to put myself to sleep. And at that point, my aunt, my aunt got breast cancer.
Speaker 1 00:07:50 And that was like just a big shake moment. Cause I was like, here, here was this woman who like had, you know, worked her tail off, you know, her and my uncle, they didn't have kids and they worked really hard and they, you know, they very, uh, successful financially. Um, but yeah, he was this woman done, you know, seemed to do all, all the right things and then, you know, had breast cancer. And I was like, you know, I've done everything that I've, I've tried everything that I could try to kill myself to put myself out of my own wizard, you know? And it hasn't worked. Here's this one who's like, you know, word for tail, I've done seem seemingly done all the right things. Right. And it has, you know, has got breast cancer and like who knows what I happen? Um, fast forward my is fine.
Speaker 1 00:08:43 She's very healthy and she'd be cancer. But, um, yeah, that was, that was my wake up call, you know, it was like, dude, you know, what are you doing? Like what is, yeah. And so that was it. So I just started reading. I started, uh, I started meditating. I started doing like any and everything, like based on what I just told you, like, I mean you maybe even a piece together that, you know, I was pretty hardcore. Um, and, but that doesn't just translate into, you know, the Drake, like I do that with pretty much every aspect of my life, you know, when I, when I'm into something, I go a hundred percent. Yeah. And so the same thing was like, when I was, you know, decided like, you know, to turn things around, I was like, all right, this it, you know, I'm tired of this life.
Speaker 1 00:09:39 I, you know, I've, I'm, you know, almost 40 years old and I, I accomplished, you know, so I just went full on and I remember like, I remember sitting in my bedroom at their house and like, I'd got like the it, um, book, or like some Chinese, you know, book where you throw, throw sticks on the ground and like try to count and figure out what your life is, how your life is gonna turn out. I remember doing that. I was meditating. I was burning incense in the room. I was just everything that I could think of. Like I was reading, you know, all the, the self-help gurus, I, through everything I could to like turn things around. And, uh, so I saved up money and I left and, uh, ended up in Vietnam, um, and put a lot of my lot of my self, uh, self sabotage behaviors just followed me.
Speaker 1 00:10:35 And like, it was as I was, as I was getting better as I was working on my, as I was working on myself, it was, so it was really, it was a really tough dance because it was like, I would take one step forward and one step back, you know, and it was not like, you know, sometimes you, you know, you know, you take two steps forward and one setback back. Right. But I wasn't, I wasn't making any progress. Like I had, you know, I had saved up some money and gotten out of, you know, out from under my, you know, uh, you know, from other people's, uh, terror or whatever, I guess you'd say. Yeah. But, you know, I was not, I was not moving forward. You know, by the time I'd got, I got Vietnam about almost, uh, a year and a half later, I'd almost spent all the money that I'd spent, you know, that I'd say, and it was just like, why do, why do I keep doing this stuff for myself? Like, you know, and same thing, like relationships, I was still botching relationships. I stopped drinking at that point. Um, and it was sure wheel power. There was nothing, you know, nothing. It was just like, this is, this is how my life is gonna go from now on. I was just, I was an angry, sober person. <laugh>
Speaker 2 00:11:50 I don't like it, but I'm doing it anyway.
Speaker 1 00:11:51 Yeah, exactly. Right. And, uh, yeah, but I was, I, my thing was exercise. I really turned into like, you know, exercising, healthy, you know, healthy mood or healthy eating. Right. But I was assuming sick all the time. I got dingy fever and, uh, in Vietnam, I got, I was getting food poisoning. Like almost every, almost every month. It was just random. Like I was randomly just, there was, I was always finding ways to like to hurt myself. That's just go ahead. Crazy.
Speaker 0 00:12:29 No, it's just crazy. Yeah. Mm-hmm, <affirmative>
Speaker 1 00:12:32 Just, just, just punishing myself. And then, so I left Vietnam and I ended back, ended up back in Taiwan and I met the girl who is now my wife, um, after the first month I, that was, I was in Taiwan and she was, she was married at the time we met on some, uh, kind, I guess, hookup side <laugh> and, you know, she was just looking to, for distraction to her bears, we met, it was like fireworks. Unbelievable. And I was like, wow. And actually the first, the first date that we had, um, just kind the, you, our first date, it was like, uh, I'm gonna marry. She was like, well, I didn't know she was married at the time. So she was like, it's a little more complicated than that.
Speaker 1 00:13:23 So obviously it was little more complicated, but we sort up, we are together now. And, um, but she was going through her own thing, right. Saying basically she and I push and pulled each other through to the point where we are now. And as good as we, we were together, um, in our good times, like we just unbelievable, like just, I had never met or had anybody like this in my life. And just so, and we were equally bad in our bad times. Like our, our arguments were pretty heated. And our last one, uh, was about two and a half years ago. And it was like, alright, this is it, man. Either. We were both like, you know, either we get this stuff sorted out or like, you know, we, we go our separate ways. And so a friend of ours, a Buddhist monk, she introduced us to a guy who does a program called the spiral.
Speaker 1 00:14:28 And it was created by this Australian guy. And I was like, I I'm in, I'll do whatever, man. I just I've tried everything. I have. Like, I witness when we, when I was, when I was going through, like some of my physical stuff, my wife took me to this Chinese doctor who jabbed me, like literally jabs people with a stick. And we called him, like, we, we nicknamed the guy Jabber doctor and they like, I mean, I had tried everything, everything. Yeah. And then like, so I was like, I don't know, I'll try the sky. It was like, every time I left the office or his little ho or what you call, I was like, why do I keep going right to the side? Who's jabbing me with a stick. Like, what is wrong? Like, am I that desperate? I remember saying like, you know, couple times, like, you know, when I was, you know, you know, cause when you, when you're healing, when you're hurt, when you're in pain, you do anything.
Speaker 1 00:15:25 Right. Mm-hmm <affirmative> and you know, I'm, I'm obviously, you know, marriage, uh, I mean I've told you I'm married to a woman and, but I remember several times like saying, you know, I will, you know, I will give oral sex to a man. If that is what required for me to heal, like I will do anything like just right. Whatever desperation. Yeah. It's just so, you know, just, and God it's really painful place to be. But so anyway, I went through this, um, I went through this, uh, this program called the spiral and the first, very first session was like all the walls. Uh, the dams broke, I've cried for like hours. I mean, probably half a day after this first session. And it was just, and what happened was I became aware of the fact that I had created the life that I was living, like the choices that I was making mm-hmm <affirmative> were, had painted the picture that I was, that I was looking at.
Speaker 1 00:16:40 And, and from that session on, it just got better and better like life, my life instantly changed. And a lot of the things that I, that I did, like it's, like I said, ACE ACEs changed, but a lot of things that I wanted to have happen, like lot, lot of things that I wanted change didn't happen. Like the relationship with my wife, like it got a little bit better, but there was a lot of things that didn't get better. And I like, we were still arguing. And, um, so I was like, all right, so how do I fix this? And so I took what, you know, I took what I had learned from this individual, basically what he had taken me through. And I started applying it to myself and I started fielding my own protocol, I guess you'd say. And yeah. And I can't remember the last time my wife at, um, my addiction, my addiction is gone.
Speaker 1 00:17:54 Like, I, I actually had quite a few beers last night. Um, and you know, the funny thing is, um, you know, I had, yeah, I think I last night, but you know, the funny thing is like, I, that was my choice and I can do that now. Like I can have a beard if I want, I can have, like, I have, you know, I six X night, um, you know, it sounds funny. Um, just, you know, that I'm kind of playing with, you know, you might think, wow, you know, you're playing with fire, but I'm, I'm not, I beat, I beat the Aden and then yeah. You know, because I haven't, I haven't, you know, haven't done that in months. Uh, it was just how I just had a day and I was like, you know what, I just need to get away from everything.
Speaker 1 00:18:50 And, and I, I don't, you know, don't know my choice and, you know, as I was going through this work, as I was the, the individual took me through spiral words, I was going through that. I remember talking to the guy, I was like, you know, if, if we're, if we're getting to these emotions, you know, if we're releasing these emotions that I have attached to addiction, you know, I should be able to drink again. Right. Or I should be able to, you know? Yeah. And he was like, uh, man, don't, I, I wouldn't recommend it. And I was like, uh, you know what, I'm going, you know, I, you know, I wanna, I wouldn't to the point. Cause I was always, you know, I was always envious when I was, you know, when I had friends, uh, when I was younger and that, you know, I could go out with people and I knew that they would go out, but then the next night, you know, they would sit at home and watch movies.
Speaker 1 00:19:44 Right. Or, you know, or, you know, and, or maybe not go out for a month, you know, and I was always envious that they, these people could turn that off. You know, there was a switch, they could turn it off, you know, I didn't have a switch. It was like, you know, as soon as I started, it was like full on man. You know, it was party. Yeah. And the party never stopped. And so I was like, you know, but I should be able to, because this drinking, this, this addiction is, um, you know, it's me, it's, it's my self sabotage. It's way of me hurting myself. Yeah. So I should be able to do it. And he is like, he's like, again, he, I wouldn't recommend it. And so anyway, I tried it, so I tried, I had a glass of wine. And then, um, a weekend, the week later I had, you know, two glasses of wine.
Speaker 1 00:20:36 And then that weekend, after that I had half a bottle and I was like, whoa, I could feel like I could feel the thing waking up again. So I went through and like I said, I, I went, went through this, this protocol and I used it to, to really get down to the, the nitty gritty of what I was, uh, what I was holding onto. And yeah, like I said, I mean, last night, it's the first time I've, I've had beers and oh, ages, months. Right. And it might be, you know, it might be another six months until I have, you know, another beer. Um, but the thing is like, I have the choice now. And it's like, uh, it's amazing. Um, it's outta the, the things that I've done in my life. That's that is the most proud thing that I've, I've accomplished.
Speaker 0 00:21:29 There are several things that I wanna touch back on of what you have been through and what you have talked about. One thing I wanna say really quick to those people who are out there and struggling with addiction, if you need help, I encourage you to find that help, whatever that help is, whatever, whether it's professional, whatever you need to kick that, you know, your situation and you know how to work through that. You can be free of it. You can work through that. Um, just like Bo has done that and only, you know, your limits and your abilities. So please know that we support you in whatever path you need to take and where you need to be. I was recently talking to somebody else about addiction and about stopping things that they were addicted to or tempted by. And, um, we came down to this conversation about, there are a lot of smokers actually, who quit smoking, but they still carry a cigarette with them because just being able to hold it and acknowledge I could, if I want to, I don't want to, but I could, if I wanted to, and recognizing that it's a choice now, instead of an, a poll that says, you've gotta do this or needing that for the release has shifted or, um, any other people that are addicted to food or whatnot, and being able to say, I could, if I choose to, but I don't need it.
Speaker 0 00:22:57 Now. I love that you dove into the why, like, why am I acting this way? Why am I doing this in the very beginning? You started this saying that you like to run mm-hmm <affirmative>. At what point did you recognize that that was one of your issues?
Speaker 1 00:23:16 How not until I went
Speaker 0 00:23:17 Through that. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:23:19 Pardon? Not until I went through this work.
Speaker 0 00:23:22 Pardon?
Speaker 1 00:23:23 Not until I went through this work. It was like, you know, and you know, it's Adam something that's so blatantly obvious. Right? Sometimes we are just like completely. I just thought, like, you know, I just thought I like, you know, moving around. I like the, you know, cause by the time I was, uh, I thought I was like 18 years old. I think we had moved house like over a dozen times. Um, you know, between, I don't know my mom and dad, they moved like before I was before we were 12 years old. I think we moved house like 10 times. Yeah. And then my dad with my dad let's see, after they got divorced, my dad moved probably in the span of like six years. I think he moved like five or six times. It was ridiculous. So like, yeah, over like, like 15 times I'd moved in, you know, by the time I was like 18 and you know, it wasn't, it was like in the same, uh, city
Speaker 0 00:24:25 I'm I have a very similar story, my parents before. So my parents sat us down when I was eight years old. So four years before you and said, we're not good together and we're getting a divorce. And before that, it was like, almost, it felt like every six months we were moving again and again, so before I was eight, we were all over the place. And ironically, after I was eight, after they divorced, they both were more stable.
Speaker 1 00:24:58 Ah,
Speaker 0 00:24:59 It was almost like we're moving to get away from all of this negativity and all of that upset and frustration. Cause they would fight a whole bunch. But then all of a sudden they divorce and they're in different states and magically, they can breathe, right? <laugh> they can, they don't have to deal with each other's crap. They don't have to deal with each other's baggage from how they were raised up and whatnot and they get to do their own thing. And I think my dad moved two or three times in the same town from like eight to when I graduated from high school and my mom did the same. She only moved a couple of times. And so it was just this I, wow. Let me take a peek into your life right now and recognize you're right. There is something behind that let's run away and yet those problems keep following you, those problems keep coming. And they're in your face saying, are you ready to deal with me yet? Are you ready to face this yet? Yeah. At what point are you gonna acknowledge that there's something more to you're moving and you are running?
Speaker 1 00:26:09 Um, well most people go like a lifetime, right? I mean we, yeah. We just think that that's the way that we are. Right. And we don't, you know, even when people, other people bring it up, we're like, yeah. You know, we get used, no matter how, you know, how jacked up, you know, whatever we're doing is it's our normal. Right. And so, yeah, it's just the way it is.
Speaker 0 00:26:32 It's it's all good. No, no. I just like to move. I'm a gypsy. I like to, you know, I have that nomadic lifestyle and it feels good on me and yet yeah. Sometimes it's, it's nice. Like I absolutely understand how that nomadic lifestyle can feel great because I, it, it teaches you a lot about yourself and about like making friends or adjusting to new cultures and new communities and whatnot. And in the same aspect, it feels so good to be settled and grounded.
Speaker 1 00:27:06 I'm settled now. That's nice. I mean, it's nice to, you know, it's nice to, you know, to know what to expect. It's nice to, you know, to have my routine and, you know yeah. Cause I don't, I mean, I, you, through, through the growth that I've done over the last decade of healing, you realize that, you know, it is in the, it's in, it's in the repeatable things that we do that, you know, we build what we, you know, we, we sew our field or what we call it hard start field.
Speaker 0 00:27:45 Yeah. Right.
Speaker 1 00:27:46 Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, if you're know, it's hard to, uh, it's hard to grow something without, you know, if you constantly move. Right. So offset it out and now I'm in a good spot. Really good spot.
Speaker 0 00:28:06 So, uh, how do you feel about frustration,
Speaker 1 00:28:11 Frustration? Um, that was one of my, that was my biggest, one of my biggest things. I was like, I was frustrated with everything. I was so frustrated with that. I couldn't, you know, drink like normal people. I was so frustrated that I couldn't, you know, um, I couldn't feel com I wasn't, I was never comfortable and I wasn't comfortable with my own skin. And like, I didn't, I didn't really like partying, um, or being like being with big groups of people or being at the bar. Uh, but it was just one of those things that I, I started doing and to, I had to drink to, to be comfortable doing it. And it was just like, you know, this big cycle, just, just, uh, perpetuated itself and compounded in itself. Um, and I realized frustration. Um, recently frustration can be the key to our salvation, um, because
Speaker 0 00:29:14 How so?
Speaker 1 00:29:15 The way, well, imagine two different gears. So on the first gear, the bottom gear, I guess you say is, uh, your, your subconscious programs, see some emotions that you've embodied as a child and ones that really do all the directing of your life. And they, you know, most of us run on routine on autopilot the majority of our day. And so it is those programs that actually ruin the show. We all would, you know, we all think, you know, especially Americans, Americans are big on like freedom, you know, on free. No, you're not. <laugh> if you're ruining on routine, then like you're basically slave to the programs, the emotion that you've, you've held onto, you know, as you've that you, the emotions that you, you subconscious uses to, to dictate how you, how you feel about everything. Um, and as we're, cuz that's just how we're wire the subconscious, as soon as we're born or not, actually not long after we're conceived, the subconscious is grabbing onto everything, all the energies, all the emotions, all the things that you see and feel, and smell and face and touch and all of that.
Speaker 1 00:30:36 And it uses that to create, you know, to create the, the picture of how you react to the world. Mm-hmm <affirmative> so that is your program. That is your matrix, right? And then your conscious, your conscious intentions, which you want is the, the other gear. So back to the gear, I kind of back rest for a minute, but so you've got these two gears, you've got your conscious intentions, you know, is the top gear and your subconscious programs. And the frustration that you feel is the friction between those two beers between your conscious attention. Because, you know, for, you know, for example, for me, right, you know, I wanted to stop drinking. I didn't want to, you know, I didn't want to abuse myself. I didn't want to, to, to hurt myself in that way. Right. But my conscious, my subconscious program told me that I was not a good person, that I was not worthy of the same, uh, abundant life, uh, that my friends and family enjoyed.
Speaker 1 00:31:38 Right. So I had to destroy myself in, in one way or any other. Now, you know, you might, you might, you might have that issue with food. You might have that issue with work. You might have that issue with sex. You might have there's know thousands and thousands of different programs that we've installed that are running counter, counter productive to what we actually want. So that frustration that we feel is that friction between what we actually want and what our subconscious is saying, no, you can have that. You can try all you want, but that ain't happen.
Speaker 0 00:32:15 Good luck.
Speaker 1 00:32:16 Yeah, exactly. Right. That's my take home frustration.
Speaker 0 00:32:22 I love it. I love the imagery of it. I'm absolutely a storyteller as well. <laugh> and I love the imagery of that. You know, that right there, that friction, that you feel to be able to put a visual to it and for people to actually see it in some way and know that's what you're dealing with. So when you feel that friction and that frustration, now you have a choice point mm-hmm <affirmative>. Now you have the ability to say, which side do I wanna deal with? Which side do I wanna believe? And what do I need to do to add a little WD 40 <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:33:00 Yeah, exactly. It's just spotlight right on that issue. Right. That's what I need to work on. So anyway, you're feeling frustration, you know, like that is where, you know, that's where you need to work. So it's like a, yeah. It's like a blaring alarm for you. Focus on that.
Speaker 0 00:33:18 <laugh> yeah. Yeah. And those, I mean, oftentimes you, you talk about us, not really being free because of the emotions and the programming that are there and like shining that light onto the emotion, what emotion is it really? It's more than just anger. There's something underneath it. So what's really going on where you really at and you shine the light on it, and then you clean it out and things are a lot better. Like once you shined the light and understood that,
Speaker 1 00:33:51 Sorry,
Speaker 0 00:33:53 You're good. Once you understood that running away was part of your friction and that you had an opportunity to embrace it and say, okay, I don't wanna do that anymore. It's yeah. You just cleaned it out and greased the wheels a little bit and now life is so much easier.
Speaker 1 00:34:12 Ah, so much easier. Right. It's just, uh, yeah, I mean, and that's a, you know, I realized that, you know, S as I was, you know, for so long, so frustrated and so angry about, you know, the, the path that I was on, but then I realized as I started, you know, fixing everything, I was like, well, you know, that's what we're here for. Right. We're here to fix things and we're here to like, to get better, you know, and it's the, it's the friction and the bumps and the, you know, the mountains that we have to climb the, you know, add to the scene, you know, make things cuz otherwise like, I don't know most of us, you know, not most of us, I can't say that, you know, a lot of people just kind, we, we try to numb ourselves to, you know, and we do it with however, like, you know, I use alcohol, some people use food, some people use work, some people, you know, whatever, but we, we use whatever it is to keep ourselves asleep, you know?
Speaker 1 00:35:17 And the, the thing is like, that's just how we, that's how the human body works. Like our subconscious is, you know, it tries to keep us asleep to, you know, so cause if we're, if we're asleep, if we're running on routine, the subconsciousness control and like subconscious life of be controlled because then you know, then you're not out doing anything to, you know, to threaten what it's already, you know what it's already programed mm-hmm <affirmative>. But I think Eleanor, I'm gonna paraphrase here. It's not exactly the quote, Eleanor Roosevelt said something to the effect that do something, do something each day to challenge yourself or like step outside of your comfort zone or yeah. You know, to kind of, to be uncomfortable, do something each day to be uncomfortable. And I think that I realized recently that is the biggest, biggest secret to like really changing your life. And you've, I've heard like almost Warna and a few other like, you know, successful people talk about, you know, just getting 1% better each day and that, you know, that is kind of, it's a similar thing, right? Cause if you're, if you're trying to get better each day, then you're pushing the envelope and you're doing something and it might be a little bit uncomfortable each day. And by doing so you're staying a step ahead of the subconscious, which means you're staying a, a step ahead of, uh, sleepy land. Right. You're
Speaker 0 00:36:55 Yeah. Yeah. You're choosing to be a little more awake. You're choosing to be a little bit more aware you're choosing to actually be present in your life instead of going through, I think that the subconscious, we, the subconscious takes over and it's almost a way to protect us. Mm-hmm <affirmative> it's like, yeah, I get to do this. And we're just living in our box and we're existing. Mm-hmm <affirmative> and we're existing in this safety because that's what we've learned. And every now and then, you know, a part of the box gets dented like, like a delivery that came in. Um, and you're like, wow, that's, I'm not sure. I liked that. And you have a chance to use that friction to shift something or say, no, it's okay. I don't mind, I don't mind it when it rains and that little, little bit of water comes in it's okay. Not a big deal, maybe. Um, so our con our subconscious tries to protect us and our conscious is like, but what if there was more,
Speaker 1 00:37:56 Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:37:57 What if we could be a little happier? What if we could find a little more joy? What if we could learn something and stretch a little and it might be uncomfortable and yet look at what's there on the other side it's gorgeous and it's happy and it's fulfilling and it just brings us into this space of yes. And I'm living and I'm making these choices and life is so good.
Speaker 1 00:38:29 <laugh> exactly.
Speaker 0 00:38:31 Yeah. Nice
Speaker 1 00:38:32 Place to be.
Speaker 0 00:38:33 What
Speaker 1 00:38:34 This's a nice, nice place to be.
Speaker 0 00:38:36 Yeah. Yeah. I'm I, I love it. I think it's absolutely fantastic and wonderful. So, so what do you do now, now that you've changed your life around now that you have embraced a new way of being now that you've acknowledged that your subconscious does not have to be the one pulling the strings, what do you do
Speaker 1 00:39:00 Now? I am standing here with my arm, extended, helping other people travel down the path. Yeah. And so that's what, that's what ammo is. Um, I went through this program, this protocol called the spiral. And like I said, it was like changed my life and so many amazing things. Um, but you know, just, it scratched the surface of what I wanted, where I really intended to have happen. And one of, one of the biggest things that I experienced as I was going through this, uh, this process was anxiety. Like when you, when you find the emotions, when I, I built on the back of, uh, this, this program called the spiral and we use muscle testing, uh, to find the emotions we use the Meridian chart, which is like, uh, kind of like a map to peg the emotions on the body to find out where they are, and then their release points on the body, like physical release points that correspond to where the emotions are found.
Speaker 1 00:40:05 Um, and so, and then we used breathing to get it out. Well, one of the things that like, anxiety was big for me, huge. Like I was just constantly no on my fingers. And it was just like, I was, as I was going through this process, um, I would have, and I had never had anxiety at all. Um, but as I was releasing, these emotions, anxiety came up like huge. And I was, it was, so it was crippling. It was like, I could breathe. And like, I, you know, I felt like, you know, one of those people that, you know, picks up a plastic, I never actually picked up a bag and, you know, did it, but I felt like, oh my God, am I losing? Do I need do <laugh>? And, um, my wife at the, at the time she was going through, you know, Reiki course.
Speaker 1 00:40:54 And so she would help me. Um, she would help me move the anxiety, you know, with Reiki and really, it really helped. But I, at the same point, I was like, I don't wanna, like, I don't wanna rely on her. Like, and I, and I feel like, you know, every time I'm like anxious, oh, homie, like, oh, can you, you know, I felt like that, like, I don't wanna be like that, you know? Yeah. Um, depending on her to help me out. So it was one of these intuitive, you know, leaps, or I don't know, things that ha just happened. I was just, I was doing this work, um, um, AMO in Spanish means I love right. Mm-hmm <affirmative> so, and I was thinking about love and I was thinking about like, you know, love using love is healing. And, you know, doing, you know, doing this work and breathing, like, I don't know, everything just came together. And so I came up with this ammo breath, and ammo is a M O you spell it, you know, AMO, uh, the first part of this AMO breath is, uh, we take a deep breath in like a Kini breath up the spine, up to the top of the head. So the breathe in, and then when you breathe, the exhale was, uh, we imagine light coming in and down our throat, the itch of the chest, uh, with the M is more of like a hum. So, so
Speaker 3 00:42:27 Mm-hmm, <affirmative>
Speaker 1 00:42:28 We imagine that that light came into the crown of her head down her throat, into our chest. It's swirling, like in a clockwise direction. And we used that to pull the energy and the emotions that we've connected with, um, into our heart center. So, and with the O we imagine the, all of that energy that we collected, plus the light that we used to cleanse it, shooting out of our chest. And as I was doing this, I don't just, like I said, it's one of those things, just like, I dunno how it happened. And as I started doing, I was like, whoa, dude, this is like, man, a powerful. And, um, so I started incorporating that in my practice and it was like, it just changed everything. Like just the, the energy, the anxiety that I was feeling, just like, I am just instantly disappeared.
Speaker 1 00:43:25 And, um, yeah. So, and then let's see. And then we also use, and the interview session, we use neurolinguistic program as, so that's, that's the AMO knee. So what it, what its, and the knee part is such a knee in Chinese means you, um, so AMO and Spanish means I love and knee in Chinese means you. I use two different, I means use two different languages. Cause this is a blend, right? It's a blend of, you got muscle testing and you got breathing. Um, you got Meridian char. I mean it's a little bit of, a little bit of everything, right. And then neurolinguistic programming. So it's just like a big hodgepodge of, uh, awesome healing modalities combined into bond of like really just zap what you're, what you, what you program and to let it all go. And I think like, I, you love like the big thing, but the funny thing is like the first book, first book that I read, the first book that I bought when I was, uh, when I started my healing journey was called love yourself. Like, uh, like your life depends on it. I think, yeah. I was reading about this tech guy, like, uh, and he was going through depression and he figured out like, love is the answer. Right love.
Speaker 1 00:44:50 So, so I was like, I don't know when I, I first read that I was like, cool, man, I'll buy into that. And so I put this sticky note on my bathroom, uh, mirror at my aunt uncle's place when I was with them. Right. And I remember looking at it each day and I was like, I love you. I love you. And I was looking at myself saying that and like, and I kind of started to get into it. Then, then I was like, I hate that guy. It got a jacket, you know, I don't, I hate it. Like, and I just ripped it down and like, I just never paid attention to it ever again. But the funny thing is like, after I got to the point as I did this work, um, that now yeah, I do. I'm look in the mirror. I'm like that. Dude's awesome. I love that dude.
Speaker 0 00:45:34 You mean it came full circle.
Speaker 1 00:45:36 Yeah, exactly. So that's kinda, yeah, that's what <inaudible> like. That's kinda, you know, it's, you know, that's where that all came from. Cause you, and that's my goal. So like when I take people through this work is to have them say the same thing, right. To have fall in love with themselves and you know, really appreciate, you know, because you know, it's really, you know, it's an enlightening when you realize that like the, where you are is because of the emotion that you programmed. So basically, you know, wherever you are is you like you did it, right. Mm-hmm, <affirmative> no matter what happened to you, you know, if you got, you know, beat up or, you know, abused or, you know, it wasn't that thing, wasn't your fault. But what, you know, the emotions that you held onto, as in, in response to that, you know, to that happening, like you did that, you, you, you held onto those emotions, right. And they, those emotions shape have shaped your life. So in essence, like it is your fault. Right. You know, you, you created the reality that you're living right now. And when you realize that it is such a powerful moment, because you're like, you know what, if I do this, then I can undo it.
Speaker 0 00:46:57 Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:46:58 And that's when that's when your wife's like, man, just go from zero, zero to six, then like no time.
Speaker 0 00:47:07 That's, that's, that's like that pivotal moment of understanding. That's the moment that I hope that we can all get to is the, I have the power to change this. I have the power to be something different to do something different, to create a different life. And you may not be able to do it on, on your own. You may need help. Most of us need help. Most of us do, most of us cannot do it all by.
Speaker 1 00:47:37 I couldn't do it on my own, you know? And I tried and tried, I tried for DEC almost a decade, you know, and I just like, it wasn't until my wife was like, you know, we, we get help or like, this is it. And I was like, ah, all right.
Speaker 0 00:47:50 I don't wanna hear that. Do not tell me I have to change. Cuz that just makes me kick him against the pricks more. But the reality is that, that we all have that defining moment that tells us it's time to start looking into the friction. And if we take that moment and open up and reach out for the hand, that's stretched out for us saying, Hey, I've been there. I totally get what you're going through. And I understand the pain. I understand the upset. I understand the heartache. And I am absolutely here to let you know that you can do this. Exactly. And you can shift it and you can live a life that you love.
Speaker 1 00:48:31 Exactly. The thing is like, what you're talking about is like, you know, you know, you understand the pain, you know, and it's so true because like, you know, we all think like, oh, you know, I'm, you know, my thing is different. No, it's not, you know, you might be dealing with like, you know, food addiction or you might be dealing with, you know, whatever, you know, but like when we're all going through the same thing, right. It's just different vehicles that we use to, you know, to manifest the experience. Like so, you know, that's just, uh, you know, you are, it's a different
Speaker 0 00:49:06 Programming that feeds into how we perceive it differently. How we feel it differently, the way I grew up. And if I was dealing with your stuff versus the way that you grew up and you dealing with your stuff, we're gonna see it through a different lens. And at the base of it is loss at the core of it is that insecurity, that unstable foundation and that seeking for love and fear of abandonment and all of the other things that go into that. And if you go down to that core and recognize, what's really there, we can see better, you know, there's the old, um, bumper sticker that says every, everyone is going through something. So be kind
Speaker 1 00:49:50 Exactly
Speaker 0 00:49:51 That's right. That's exactly where we're at. Every single one of us has shit. Every single one of us has this crap that is, that feeds into our baggage and how we react to everything around us, the world, the people, our, our loved ones, everything and recognizing that mm-hmm <affirmative> yeah, we've all got it. And I'll give myself some love and I'll give you some love and let's just get through this thing that we call life together. Because quite frankly, none of us gets out of it alive. So
Speaker 1 00:50:22 <laugh>, I like that.
Speaker 0 00:50:24 We might, we might as well be a little bit kinder while we here right now. Exactly. Bo, do you teach online? Do you teach in person? How do people contact you? How do people learn this, this beautiful tool?
Speaker 1 00:50:40 Yeah. Yeah. The web, the website, uh, is the best place to, to go. Um, I've got a love, hate, uh, affair with love, affair, love, hate affair. Guess, is that what you said? Yeah. <laugh> social media. So, um, yeah, I'm like in and out in and out, but uh, yeah, my website is my hub. Like I'm, I'm very consistent, like, you know, keeping up with, you know, keeping up my website, my blog and everything like that. So yeah, if this resonates with you, then reach out, um, I'm also doing some, uh, some live webinars, um, weekly, so yeah. Uh, you can register, you can register for when and where that pops up. Um, on the website.
Speaker 0 00:51:24 Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:51:24 It's the best place to reach me. I'm clear.com.
Speaker 0 00:51:29 Fabulous. You guys, I'm constantly encouraging you to find something that works for you because what works for one doesn't work for somebody else. If you are remotely intrigued by Omo, if you are remotely connecting with B's life story and all of the challenges that he has been able to survive through and thrive through, I highly encourage you to seek him out. We'll have his, um, contact information in the show notes below. And thank you so much for being here Bo, before I let you go, I have a couple of little questions.
Speaker 1 00:52:04 Thank you so much for sharing your platform with me. I really, really appreciate it. Sorry.
Speaker 0 00:52:10 I'm absolutely delighted. I have two questions
Speaker 1 00:52:14 Far
Speaker 0 00:52:14 Away. If you could give our listeners a journaling, prompt, something to ponder and then write about what would that be?
Speaker 1 00:52:24 Cool. Um, wow.
Speaker 0 00:52:27 <laugh> sorry. I didn't give you a heads up.
Speaker 1 00:52:31 No, that's alright. I'm cause I'm a big writer. Uh, uh, I think maybe who am I? Maybe that'd be a good, good start.
Speaker 0 00:52:39 Okay. So guys, who am I go deep? Who are you not just right this second, but like, what are you feeling? Where did you come from? What is your makeup? Who are you? And then my second question for you is what is your favorite form of self care?
Speaker 1 00:53:00 Oh my God, I'm always, I'm constantly changing. Uh, I've really, I think the breathing probably breathing is one of my biggest, like my most staple, the ammo, the ammo breath. Um, if you're curious, go check out my YouTube channel. I got a free video on the AMA Alma breath. Um, if you didn't hear what I description of how I told you, how do it this podcast, but, um, yeah, breathing is a big one for me. Um, I think learning too, I mean with, uh, yeah, learning anything like right now, I'm doing chess. I'm learning how to play chess. And so just constantly, like I was saying earlier, you know, like whole, you know, Eleanor Roosevelt saying just like just constantly trying to grow and get better. Yeah. I think that that betterment, you know, that pursuit of, uh, growth is a great method of self care. Cause like you're, you're constantly, you know, doing something better. Right. So,
Speaker 0 00:54:17 Okay. That is a new one and I love it. I absolutely love that. I love the concept of learning and feeling free enough to take something new in as self-care. So you guys heard it here from Beau learning is beautiful. Self-care because you get to grow a little bit and you might learn something that will help you apply and shift your life. Thank you for being here. Oh my
Speaker 1 00:54:43 Gosh. Thank you so much. It's like really appreciate it.
Speaker 0 00:54:47 This has been absolutely fantastic. And I'm truly grateful that you've been here. So Hey guys, I love you. I'm glad that you joined us and until next week we'll have you again on breath in, breathe out. Okay. pH Hey, how'd that feel?
Speaker 4 00:55:12 <laugh>
Speaker 0 00:55:24 You are so very welcome. And I feel like it went so smoothly and, and comfortable, and I really appreciate you sharing your story and coming through that and being so just open with your experience. Yeah. It's there. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, wow, that was nuts. And I'm glad I'm where I'm at now. <laugh>, I'm glad it's different. So.
