Episode Transcript
Think meditation is hard? Do me a favor, take a slow deep breath in and now breathe out. Congratulations, you just meditated. Hi, I’m Krystal Jakosky, and this is Breathe In, Breathe Out: a Weekly Mindfulness and Meditation podcast for anyone ready to own their own shit and find a little peace while doing it.
Hello. Welcome back to Breathe In, Breathe Out. I’m Krystal Jakosky and this week is just story time. I've had people come to the beam and bell, which is where I operate and do the majority of my work. And they always ask me about the space and how it came to be. And it's a little bit of a story and I just thought, why not share it? So, uh, this might be a little bit longer of a podcast, and I hope that if you need to stop it because you've gotten where you need to go, you come back and listen to the rest. Um, because it is a story. It is definitely a story. When my kids were graduating from high school, I knew that I needed to get ahead of the game and make sure that I had a focus, and a purpose because oftentimes when a mom has focused and dedicated her life to her family and her kids, once the kids leave, you have this empty nesting syndrome and you struggle because the thing that was your purpose is no longer your purpose.
They have moved on. They don't need you like they used to need you. And your partner is often still working. So you're left with now. What, and I didn't wanna be in that space. I was really concerned that I would get into that space and, and, um, end up depressed because I have dealt with depression in the past, and I am very aware of my triggers and what causes me to spiral. So I knew that finding a purpose, finding a drive, finding a reason, um, or a hobby or something to keep me going afterward would be very beneficial. And one day I was sitting in my meditation room. And as you guys know, I don't necessarily sit in quiet meditation. I was playing with a little sand. I had a mini sand garden and I was just kind of playing with it. And, and I said to the universe, I would really like to know what my purpose is.
What's my path? And I very distinctly heard this unbelievably beautiful, full masculine belly laugh. I heard it like you hear my voice right now. And I was surprised by it. And this voice said, do not say that if you are not ready and that shocked me. And I said, okay, fine. <laugh> maybe, maybe I'm not quite ready to know what my path is. Maybe I'm not quite ready to really dive into this. Now I have listened to this voice. I'd been listening to this voice for 15 years. So I knew to trust it. I had been introduced to it during a very difficult time in my life earlier and had built up this trust and respect because I knew it as higher power and a spirit guide that would not steer me wrong. They always had my best interest at heart. So when I heard that laugh and that do not ask if you're not ready, I was scared.
I <laugh>. I was so scared. So I said, okay, never mind. I'll just back off. And about six months later, that was one March, about six months later, I said, you know what? I really am. I'm ready. I wanna know what my path is and I'm not kidding you. I heard that exact same belly laugh. I told you, don't say that if you're not ready. And I said, no, really I'm ready to know my path. At this time, I had already been kind of working with people and helping them on their journey and helping them see things in a different light and change their perspective in life. And I was not able, the state that I was working in did not allow you to touch your clients. The only way that you could touch your clients was if you had a license to touch, or if you were a member of the clergy.
So a preacher could touch the arm of one of the patrons at the church. I was not allowed to touch my clients, hold their hands when they were crying, or wipe a tear when they were struggling. So I said, I'm ready. I wanna know. All of a sudden I knew that I was going to massage therapy school. I knew that this was the next step in my path. And, that would give me the license to touch my clients, the license, to help people. And up until now, I hadn't really called them my clients because they were my friends. They were people who were inspired to come to me and ask for help. And so I just shared with them what I knew and I didn't charge them. It was just, yeah, I love you. I wanna help you. And I've learned this thing and maybe this thing can help you. So why not just let's do it and see if, if it benefits you the way it benefited me, trial and error, really. That was my training ground for working with and teaching people. So then I went to massage therapy school and in massage therapy school, I was thrown deep into the beauty of anatomy and physiology and how our muscles and bones and our body systems work along with the energetics behind it, our chakras, our send lines, the energy that is moving through and around and with us in every,
Every single aspect of our day. And along with that, I was also further solidifying my connection with my spirit guides and higher power and all of those energies that were swirling around me already. I learned so much and I was in love with learning. I learned about oils and Reiki and reflexology and shiatsu and time massage. I ended up going to Thailand and learning from a beautiful woman there, all about the intention behind your movements and the connection that you have with that body there and how beautiful a meditation it is to walk through and help open them up and help heal them from the physical tightness that was there into this fluidity and connection with their bodies. As I was doing massage therapy school, I was also introduced to crystals from outside teachers. And I learned from a couple of shamans and I just, teachers were suddenly thrown at me and just appearing in my face in my field, in my just area of being, I was constantly meeting and hearing about these beautiful people that could help me and teach me and serve me so that I could then serve others. So I continually learned about this and, and grew my toolbox. And as I grew my toolbox, I also ended up with more. People were drawn and I continued working on my training ground. And I was teaching these people, things that I had learned so that they could then move further and do more. I expanded my own knowledge
And I learned that I was helping people find their voice. This was my tagline for a very long time. I help people who have lost their voice, find it because it was often people who had dimed their light and quieted their own voice and their own needs in the name of others. And after they worked with me, they were more strong. They were more confident. They had self of worth, and they were excited to move forward in their lives. So as I graduated from massage therapy school, my husband and I sat down and it was what was next on my journey. What's next. And both of us had the feeling that I needed to be teaching larger groups, not necessarily the one-on-one. Yes, one-on-one and us one on one and more. So I sat down and I asked my guides,
What does this look like? And I was given this vision of a place that had very mature trees. It had water running through it. It had a space for me to work separate from the space that I lived in, and it was healing and beautiful. There was room, there was a beautiful garden there. And I just, it was so vivid. I could feel the greenery. I could feel the water. I could feel the sun on my face. And I knew that that was where we needed to be. So we looked and looked and looked in the state that we lived in at the time, but we couldn't find it. My husband finally said you know what? We could find this in Colorado. We need to move home. I call Colorado home because I've been here the longest of any place I've lived in my life. I've now been here for over 22 years.
And this is where my chosen family, my family is. And I, I feel grounded here. I feel centered and relaxed here. And I looked at him and I said, then let's move home. And we both cried. Now at this point, I thought this is gonna be easy. I've already got the vision. I know what the place is gonna look like. Now, all we gotta do is find it, on Zillow. We get it, we just gotta find it. Right, boy, howdy. This was a challenge for months. We were looking on Zillow for months. We were hoping to find it and it just was not happening. And I was losing hope. I was very discouraged, very upset, and very frustrated. And my husband started looking at convention centers, places where we could hold larger groups and that we could teach larger groups. And he came across a beautiful bed and breakfast and he came and he was looking at the bed and breakfast and spending time here.
And I was very frustrated because I wanted my space, the bed and breakfast didn't have it had trees and it had running water, but it didn't have the home where I needed to live along with the space where I needed to teach people. One day, he was out here in Colorado and I was in the other state. And I had given up, I had told the universe, I am done. I'm not gonna look at Zillow anymore. I'm tired of trying to find it. If it's supposed to happen, you need to bring it to me. <laugh> you need to bring it to me. And, and I did not look at Zillow for months. And then one day I'm chopping vegetables for dinner. And this voice that I know very well said, you need to check Zillow. And I laughed at it. Belly laughed right back at you and said, I told you, I'm done with Zillow. I'm not looking don't even, that's not even funny. Don't and this was a Thursday afternoon at four o'clock.
And the voice came again. No, really you gotta look at Zillow. And I was like, fine. So I pulled, I stopped chopping vegetables and I pulled up Zillow. And on Zillow was this home that had literally just been posted. It had this beautiful ditch running through it, and huge mature trees. It had a building where I could do my work. It had a house separate from that building. It had everything that was in my vision, everything. So I sent that to Jay and Jay looked at it and he called the realtor and he said, I need to see this place. Now, Jay was scheduled to come home the next day at noon, he needed to see this place by nine o'clock or he would not make his flight come back. So he called up his realtor and the realtor said, that's not on the market.
It doesn't exist. And Jay said, well, Zillow says it is so figure it out. So our realtor asked who the listing agent was and he said, I know her, I'm gonna give her a call. So he gives her a call and she said, the people are not ready to show it. They won't be ready until Saturday. And he said, well, I have a client that's leaving tomorrow morning and they really wanna see the property. So can you make it work long story short? My husband was seeing the property the next morning at 9:00 AM. And he drove over the bridge that I saw in my vision. And as driving over that bridge, he hadn't even seen the house. And he knew that this was where we were supposed to be. We knew without a doubt that we had found a home where the capital H this is where we were gonna settle down.
This was our peaceful place, this, mm. This was a gift. So we put an offer in, and it was under contract before the four sale sign went up outside. So we moved on and we're here. And we're both just blown away by the fact that we found it. It was months of searching and frustration and upset. And we finally found it like, we're here. Can you believe it? And then we found out that there were problems. There were issues. Things had been built and permits. Hadn't been pulled. There were people living on the property that wasn't supposed to be, which meant that we had illegal living spaces. And then we had to fix that. And the hoops we had to go through red tape, we had to go through in order to get approval, to have the business on the property approval, to be able to operate here, and to make things the way they were supposed to be was an emotional roller coaster.
I was, there were so many times I was this little kid, just fists clenched by my sides, stomping on the ground, throwing a temper tantrum because I was so frustrated. I had the vision. I had the dream. I knew this was, where we were supposed to be. Why is it taking so long? Why is this so hard? Because this is not fair. I know it's supposed to be, I know what's right. Why? Well, we jumped through hoops. We fought the fight. We corrected all of the issues so that we were in good standing. They recognized that we were willing to work with the rules and the guidelines of the county and whatnot. So they finally helped us pave the way so that we could continue with the dream. Now, one of the buildings was built without a permit. We either had to bring it up to code, or we had to tear it down and rebuild it <laugh>.
So we sat there with it. We asked ourselves which one we wanted to do. We got quotes and it was pretty dang close to the same price to rebuild as it would've been to just try to bring the old one up to code. So we decided to rebuild. And in rebuilding, as they tore the old building down, they came to us and said, this place should have burned down at least 10 times over. We cannot tell you there was no foundation. The electrical wiring was very scary, and sketchy. It was scary. And now we were gonna have this new positive, healthy, solid, Hmm. The commercial building was built exactly the way we wanted it built for the purposes that we wanted it there with the new energy that would be in the building, the healing intention put behind every choice for every finish. I designed that building. I saw what it was supposed to be.
I drew it out and it's amazing. And when people walk into that building, the first thing they say is, oh, it feels so good in here. I love it when people say that because yeah, I designed it, but I wasn't the one that I, I, I was told what it was supposed to be. I just followed the guidance that I had already been given. This is where you're supposed to be. This is what it's supposed to do. These are how you're, you know, you need gigantic windows that will look out on the gardens. When I started working with the company to do the gardens, it was <laugh>. It was just another fabulous challenge because I knew what I wanted. I knew I wanted a raking garden. I wanted yin yang. I wanted a labyrinth that people could meditate with. I wanted a fire pit.
I wanted a pergola kind of thing. And I wanted a tea house. There were specific things that I knew that the garden was supposed to have. And when I showed them pictures, cuz I had a dream book when I showed them pictures of the walkway. When I showed them pictures of the labyrinth, three different landscaping companies told me that I was nuts and that that was not possible. It could not be done. And I should just pick something different again, this little girl that just wanted to fight for what I knew was right. The way it was supposed to be was like, no, I'm gonna make it happen. So one summer my siblings and their kids came into town. We cleared ground and we leveled this space and we washed literally over 10 tons of rock because we needed to wash it so that it would be clean and the glue would stick to it so that it would hold it together and be able to do this walkway or do the labyrinth the way that I wanted it to do.
We worked so hard that summer, we would wake up at 6:00 AM and we, all of us together, we were so happy and we had so much fun. We were singing and harmonizing and just joyful. And we would stop at two o'clock when it was getting really, really hot. And we would all just take a break and enjoy the afternoon. We'd play in the water in the ditch or whatever we wanted. However, we wanted to enjoy and play. And then we would get it up and get up and do it all again. The next day it was, it is a summer that I to this day would love to repeat. It was so much work and yet it was so much fun. The connection, the joy, warm heart, warm memories, and just, I, yeah, that was an amazing thing. And after that, a couple of those landscaping companies came by and they asked me if I found somebody to do my labyrinth.
And if I, they found somebody to do my walkway and I would tell them, no, I don't have anybody to do the rest of the gardens either yet. And they would look at the garden. They would look at the labyrinth that we had already done. The grass that we had laid and the walkway in between and their jaws would drop and say, I didn't think you could do that. I really didn't think you could do that. But I knew I could because I'd had the vision and I knew what it was supposed to be. Eventually, we got another company and that company took all of my input, recognized my vision, and then helped build the garden the way that it is today. That doesn't mean that there weren't hiccups. <laugh> I was very insistent on having the red stones that are there and the other person thought, well, maybe we should add Moss rock instead.
And I said, no, I want what I want. So I was very intentional on so many things. And yet that person gave me the gift of the Groo. I hadn't even thought of the Groo. And now the Groo is this safe, protected space that has the fountains right out front. And I can sit in that grotto, turn the fountains on. And it's so peaceful. It's so calming. One of my friends said this is a place where you just wanna spill your guts. <laugh> you can go up into the Treehouse, which is in grandmother Willow. And that tree has a story of its own, but you go up into the Treehouse and there's this net and the net is right over the water. So you can lay in this cargo net and you can let the water just wash all of your tears or your stress, or your worries away.
Looking up into the canopy, listening to the wind, rustling through the branches, and knowing that you're cradled, you're safe and everything is perfect at that moment. There are so many spaces in that garden that bring me peace just depends. Day, one day I may really want the labyrinth and the labyrinth in and of itself. You can walk it in shoes, go for it, enjoy it. It'll give you stability on your feet. You can also walk barefoot and sometimes you're gonna step on a really smooth rock that is fantastic with pressure on the right parts of your foot and give you a little bit of reflexology treatment. And sometimes you're gonna step on a shark pokey rock, which is just like life. Sometimes it is smooth and wonderful. And sometimes you have those uncomfortable moments where you're, uh, that was not fun. <laugh> that was a little painful.
And yet you walk that entire labyrinth. You have that question before you start, you meditate on that question. And when you get into that middle, you have an answer and you just gotta sit with that answer and that gift, as long as you want, I went to this special rock shop up in Estes Park and I picked out stones that needed to be in the middle of that labyrinth. And I sat with each stone and I asked, is this the stone that needs to be there? There's a stone representing every single chakra going all the way up. You can lay on those stones and just feel the cleansing, feel the peace. And again, you're laying there and you're looking up through the canopy of protective Grandmother Willow saying, I've got you. It's really cool because in the winter, even when it's a lot of snow, the labyrinth rarely has snow on it.
The tree doesn't have leaves on it, but the labyrinth is clear so that you can go walk it. You can go enjoy it. You can go breathe and sit at the moment, losing yourself in the R garden. <laugh> I've had all sorts of things drawn in there to pull the rake and watch designs just appear behind you, whether you're doodling and playing, or you're very intentional about what you want it to look like afterward, there's something soothing in the impermanence of it. There's something calming about your bare feet. Taking each step in the sand before the rake erases them, leaving a design. And right next to the RA garden is this gong that I got. When I went to Thailand to learn massage therapy, I went, the teacher's husband asked me, what's your purpose in being here? And I said, well, I wanna learn Thai massage.
And I want a gong. And he said, oh, he was so excited. Cuz he really wanted to go shopping with me. We found this gong that's four or five feet. It's huge. This gong is huge. And if you stand behind the gong and somebody hits the belly, it goes right through your heart chakra and just radiates out. It cleanses. It feels so good. And so grounding opens your heart up and brings in joy. I love watching people's faces go from uncertainty to thrilled when they feel that vibration shaking through and cleansing off, shake off all those cobwebs and all that. The clouds, there are so many parts of the garden that I love. I don't love anyone more than another. There are some days that I'm drawn to one place more than another, but I love them all equally to sit in the tea house and be protected and have the sun come in, make yourself a cup of tea, color, draw, play with the bowls that we have. You can hear the wind every now and then the wind will be absolutely crazy outside, but you're in the tea house and you just get to listen to it and you're protected and safe and it's cozy and wonderful. I love the space that's here. It has become a space where the community can gather we've had celebrations. We've had a couple of funerals. We've had classes and seminars.
Everyone talks about how peaceful it is. Everyone talks about what a gift, the energy that is here is. And I know that this property was just waiting for Jay and me to come and pour our hearts into it so that it could thrive and be of space where people could come and drop their burdens and pick up hope and joy. I don't know all the details of where it's gonna go. I don't know how it will evolve. I do know that it is absolutely perfect right here right now. And I love sharing it with people. I love having clients and people come to see what transformation can happen for them too because this property has gone through transformations. This property has been here forever. The native Americans would come through on their journeys from one resting point to another, all the way to settlers, and then hear and us and Jay and I being able to be the stewards of this land.
This land will live on long after Jay and I are gone. And yet the gift, the blessing, the peace that it is right here right now. I'm just thrilled to be a part of it. If you'd like to see pictures, go to my website, crystal kowski.com and check it out. We've also done spotlights through our musings. You can find those on the blog. You can also go to YouTube @krystaljakosky. There's a time-lapse in creating the gardens. And while it doesn't have everything, you'll be able to see some beauty as it transforms from one thing to another. I'm thrilled to share it. <laugh> I thank you for listening. I hope you enjoyed my storytime of how I brought my dream to life and not just my dream, but my vision. Take care of yourself. And I look forward to having you back here again next week on Breathe In, Breathe Out.
I hope this moment of self-care and healing brought you some hope and peace. I’m @krystaljakosky on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube and I hope you check us out and follow along for more content coming soon. I look forward to being with you again here on Breathe In, Breathe Out. Until next time, take care.
