Episode Transcript
Speaker 1 00:00:04 Think meditation is hard. Do me a favor, take a slow deep breath in and now breathe out. Congratulations, you just meditated. Hi, I'm k Crystal Kowski and this is Breathe In. Breathe out a weekly guided meditation podcast for anyone ready to own their own shit and find some peace while doing it.
Speaker 2 00:00:27 Hello and welcome to Breathe In. Breathe Out. I'm Crystal Kowski. I'm as always thrilled that you're here. This week I got to interview Magic Barclay and she is from Australia. She is fantastic, has great energy, and we talked about lymphatic drainage also, um, the self versus the non-self. And we talked about the serious importance of self-love and self-care. She's wonderful. Magic Barclay is the lead practitioner at Holistic Natural Health Australia and the host of the podcast, A magical Life, health, wealth and weight loss. Magic's life changed when she faced multiple life-threatening conditions. She then decided to find the root cause of her health issues and that set her on a path of life-Changing learning Magic's helps mainly women aged 45 to 65 who feel unheard or misled by mainstream medicine or anyone who really wants to bring their health back to the basics by treating root cause and the systems of the body not chasing symptoms, reconnecting to the environment and overcoming their past trauma. And that previous of gener that of previous generations through healing the P N E I, which is a cycle of neuro endo immune system pathways of the body. She's also a master practitioner in mold toxicity recovery. Personally, she's a mom of two amazing humans and two gorgeous fur babies. She's a grower of organic food for her family and a very passionate native gardener. I hope you enjoy listening to the interview and find gems of inspiration for you to apply to your own life.
Speaker 2 00:02:08 Hello and welcome back to Breathe In, breathe Out. I'm Crystal Kakowski and as always, I'm thrilled you're here. I'm excited that you're joining us and this week I get to chit chat with Magic Barclay. And let me tell you, we have been gabbing before this even came about, and I think both times we have chatted, we have really connected and kind of gone off on tangents. So welcome to my podcast. I'm so glad you're here.
Speaker 3 00:02:33 Thanks so much for having me. And, and yeah, we have had a couple of long chats now, so I'm glad we get to do this podcast.
Speaker 2 00:02:41 Yeah, it'll be absolutely delightful and fun and I'm sure that it'll be filled with stuff for, um, our listeners. So before we get too deep into it, I just wanna know more about you and how you got here to this space in life.
Speaker 3 00:02:57 Yeah, look, it wasn't an easy journey to how I got to where I am now. I was actually facing several life-threatening health conditions, which came about really after years of self neglect, years of self-loathing and self-hating, but also being around toxicity. Not just people but my home. You know, taking medications that weren't right for me, eating foods that weren't right for me and just generally detaching from everything that was good for me without knowing because, you know, I was doing what everyone else does and sometimes that's not the best thing to do for us. So I got into functional medicine and functional health through my own journey and since then, you know, I've, I've evolved as a person. I'm not the same person I was, thank goodness cuz if I met her in the street today, I'd probably smack her in the head. She wasn't a very great person. But you know, I, I now am much more connected to self, much more connected to environment and very connected to my family. And so that's where I am today.
Speaker 2 00:04:06 So explain to everyone what you mean by functional medicine.
Speaker 3 00:04:10 Okay, so I look at all the systems of the body and see what their story is, what are they doing, what are they reacting to, what are they trying to preempt? So all the systems of our body work together and it's really important that we listen to what they say. And one of my mentors, Dr. Stewart Gillespie says, if you don't listen to the whispers, you'll soon hear the screams. And that's really true. Our body tells us through every system of the body, Hey, not not feeling so great right now. You know, it's like that tap on the shoulder, Hey, hey, can you listen to me? And then we don't listen to it. And so we end up with things like autoimmune, things like cancer, you know, heart disease, all these things that can kill us. And rightly so, we're very terrified of them, but there's a lot of whispers along the way. And so in functional medicine we're learning to listen to those whispers.
Speaker 2 00:05:10 Okay, so you are a practitioner of functional medicine now,
Speaker 3 00:05:15 Practitioner of functional health. So I'm not a doctor, I don't claim to be <laugh>, but I look at the same thing. So I use integrative medicine, I use integrative practices and I look at what the body says.
Speaker 2 00:05:31 Okay, so I have been under a ton of stress and I just keep pushing and doing and burning out and going much further and much longer than I possibly think that I actually truly can. And the next thing I know I ended up in your office or another doctor's office and they're like a regular doctor says, you need to reduce your stress and you're gonna look at me and say, ah, so this system is struggling here. And that system is struggling there. You're not listening to your heart, you're not listening to all of the other issues that are going on and causing, because I mean, stress can literally kill you, right?
Speaker 3 00:06:10 Stress can, but you know, we put so much under the word stress, under the label stress. So your doctor says you need to reduce stress. What sort of stress? Is it physical stress? Is it emotional stress? Is it spiritual stress? Is it stress from work? Is it stress from family? Is it stress that you've put on yourself? And not all stress is bad. So we have you stress, which is good stress. And we have, you know, same with our body, we have inflammation. Not all inflammation is bad. We need these things to keep healing. We need a little bit of agitation, little bit of a shakeup to make us take the next step. And so, you know, reducing your stress, well that's a very umbrella term and we really have to look at what does that look like? Yeah, a lot of people will try and reduce their stress. They'll say, right, that's it. I'm not going, you know, out anymore or I'm gonna cut back on my work. And that actually makes them more stressed because they're so used to running on that cycle. They try and take themselves off it and they haven't got a plan B in action. So, you know, reducing your stress is great, but we have to look at how do we do that? What does that look like?
Speaker 2 00:07:28 Yeah, absolutely. You made a comment about self just there. So explain that that means that you think there's something other than self. Can you talk about that? Let's,
Speaker 3 00:07:38 There is, there is. So yeah, there's self and there's non-self. So self is any cell in the body that is part of the body or part of that organism. Non-self is something like a pathogen or a thought. Something that is not of that organism and non-self is what one of our systems in particular, the immune system will try and attack. So when doctors say autoimmune is your body attacking itself? Not quite true. What it's seeking is non-self cells or non-self factors within your body and it's trying to go after that. So we have this with emotions as well. You know, I'm probably not the skinniest person in the world, I know that, but I don't sit here and say I'm fat because that is non-self. That is a thought that is damaging to me. So I say I am what I am, where I am, where I need to be and I'm healthy.
Speaker 3 00:08:42 That is self. So there's nothing in there that my body, my psyche, my P N E I system, so psycho neuro endo immunology system, nothing that it has to attack because that's a self statement. You know, I am where I need to be at the moment, whereas I'm fat. That's a non-self statement. So, you know, we have this with physical pathogens and threats and parasites. We have it with thoughts. There's a really big difference between self and non-self. And so, you know, when we're around people and you know, we're coming up to a bit of a crazy time of year at the moment and we see self and we see non-self come in with people. So self are the people you know that that boost you, that help you. They're the the person, you know, the Auntie Ida that you couldn't wait to see for 12 months.
Speaker 3 00:09:40 Nash, she's coming for lunch. Oh my god, that makes me feel so good. That's a self factor. Yeah. As opposed to, oh I have to go and see my boss or I've got 50 cards to post or ugh, I have to go to that function and is, well these people I don't wanna beat. That's non-self. So that's something that doesn't sustain us because we're going to create negative thoughts about it. And there's another system of the body that deals with self and non-self and that's the lymphatic system. So the lymphatic system takes all of our waste out of our body. Right? It is such a vital, vital system. And I'll tell you an astounding statistic about it in a moment, but the lymphatic system takes both self and non-self waste. Okay? So self is waste that comes from internal actions within your body, like breathing, speaking, um, burping, like they all, they're all things that are everyday self processes, right?
Speaker 3 00:10:44 But they have self side, not side effects, but you know, side chemicals that have to be gotten rid of waste. And then we have the non-self. And so that's things like toxicity from our products, from our foods, from our drink, from radiation, from whatever it is. And our lymphatic system has to circulate all of that waste till it can be expelled. So the lymphatic system knows what can be reused, what can be safe comes through the liver. The liver's already categorized. It says circulate this for a while, bring it back to me. Or the liver says this is really bad, circulate that so you can get rid of it. So yeah, the lymphatic system is pretty amazing with self and non-self factors.
Speaker 2 00:11:33 I love the lymphatic system because people don't know about it as much and they're like, they, they've heard the phrase but they don't really know what it is or where it is. And it's, it's just under the skin. It's not um, as deep as necessarily your blood vessels and yet it still circulates very much like the blood and it is constantly cleansing and getting rid of all of that stuff that we really don't need. And then we can, our body knows how to get rid of it, whether that's through our urine and feces and that kind of stuff, but our body is able to process it and get rid of it. Using our blood gets all of the oxygen everywhere it needs to go. And the white blood cells and the red blood cells and the, and the plasma and all of that stuff. Our blood circulates that. The lymphatic system is just as magical and yet so mystical because people don't understand like when someone has swelling, that is the lymphatic system that has not been able to flow and needs to move to get those toxins that are now stuck in one area out moving, cleaning out the cell and the non-cell.
Speaker 3 00:12:41 Yeah. Yeah. So the lymphatic system actually, uh, circulates four times more lymphatic fluid than we have blood. Whoa. So we have more lymphatic fluid than we have blood a lot more. And you said not many people know about it. And I mentioned a stat and here it comes, you know, back in 2000, I believe it was 2010, there was a study done in the US and this study was replicated around the world. And what was found in this research study was at 0.7% of medical professionals knew what the lymphatic system was or did. That's pretty scary.
Speaker 2 00:13:25 0.7.
Speaker 3 00:13:27 Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:13:28 Yeah. Wait a minute, I'm a massage therapist. I know about it. I'm not a medical professional. Well, I mean I'm a massage. The what?
Speaker 3 00:13:35 Yeah,
Speaker 2 00:13:37 <laugh> and yeah, there is more,
Speaker 3 00:13:39 You know, since then we've made leaps and bounds and a lot more people know about it. But you know, that wasn't that long ago <laugh>. So
Speaker 2 00:13:47 No.
Speaker 3 00:13:48 And as someone that lives with lymphedema and anyone on your YouTube can see I've got a little puffy pat under my chin. Oh, I find that astounding <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:13:56 Yeah. I, it's amazing to me that so few, there are so many other alternative medicines, for lack of a better word, that people do not believe in. The medical profession does not encourage people to do like massage therapy in and of itself helps move lymph, helps move the circulation, helps relax you and, and, and, um, encourage your, uh, parasympathetic nervous system and whatnot. And it's just like, there's so many things that we could do for ourselves that would nurture and sincerely encourage our bodies to operate at their optimal levels. But the, the people that we trust, as in the medical professionals aren't aware of it or it's not covered by insurance or whatever the reason is. That's too woowoo. You know, that in air quotes, woowoo is something that people refer to that kind of thing by, but I just, wow. I had no idea that that was Yeah,
Speaker 3 00:14:56 Yeah, yeah. And as someone who works with the lymphatic system all the time, you know, I love going and getting a massage, but why isn't it taught how the limp flows, the direction that it flows? So, you know, I'm not speaking for all massage therapists out there, but I've been to quite a few here in Australia where I've had to say, listen, can you actually start here on my, my pecs and take it to my heart? And then, you know, if you're going under my arm, can you do it from like my brow line across to my heart? And I'll have to yeah. Reteach them the direction I want them to take it. And you know, cuz sometimes they start with your fingertips and relax you and start going up your arm. Well, you've got a whole lot of lymphatic vessels and nodes that need to be cleared before you do that <laugh>. So, you know, even when I'm drying myself after a shower, I make sure I go in the right direction of the limp and that I've cleared all of my limp sections, um, previously, why aren't we taught this? You know, as children, we need to be taught this. It's just amazing what the body can do if we know about it.
Speaker 2 00:16:09 It is, it's absolutely amazing and it's absolutely beautiful and it is such a, like, if we could learn to do it, you can do it on yourself to a point. And so it's like if we knew how to help ourselves in that kind of manner, getting rid of the toxins and all of the stuff that we don't need, I mean, wow. That's, that's okay guys. I could totally go on a rabbit hole right now. I could totally dive deep with you. Magic because, uh, wow, my mind is kind of blown on that. Uh, I thought we would mention lymphatic drainage and encourage people to go get lymphatic massage. But, um, in the same aspect, we are very much encouraging and, um, what's educating, that's the word I want, educating people on the fact that this is such a beautiful thing and you can go get it and it will help you remove those toxins and things. I just thank you. Wow. Um, we need to jump back when you, um, we might come back to lymphatic massage, I'm not quite sure. But, um, I want to go back to, um, early on in this conversation you were talking about how your choices were causing your challenge. Can you dive a little bit more into that part of your story?
Speaker 3 00:17:24 Yeah, look, there was, you know, one emotion that was either my best helper or my biggest hindrance, and that was love when I was growing up. So I didn't get love from my parents. I had to find it through, you know, friends, my big brother, you know, whatever I could. I had love of study, so, you know, I did that. It made me feel good love of animals, I was always around animals made me feel good, but one thing I didn't have was love for myself. So I was never really able to get through something in my childhood and heal from it because I didn't have the highest frequency emotion that we have, which is love for myself. I was seeking it externally all the time and, you know, right through into my teens and certainly when I got married, same pattern of behavior, not seeking self-love, seeking it externally.
Speaker 3 00:18:19 And it wasn't until I became a parent and I went, hang on, I want these kids to love themselves to, you know, be able to look in the mirror and go, you're it, you're my best mate. And I couldn't even do that for myself. So, you know, I really want to, um, share with the listeners the fact that I got unwell because I didn't love myself. Now it's not the only reason, you know, we want don't want to go too woo woo here, but it was certainly a big reason. And in coming back to self and non-self, when I don't love myself and I'm seeking something external that's non-self. So I was setting up, you know, a snowball event, an avalanche event, even of not even necessarily self-hatred, just self dismissal. And, you know, it all came because I did not understand love and I did not understand the frequency of love. I did not understand what it could do for me. And you know, for the listeners, when you're exe when you're out there seeking external love
Speaker 2 00:19:31 Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 00:19:32 <affirmative>, that person may go away. You know, that event may finish mm-hmm. <affirmative>, that dress may disintegrate, that makes you feel great. You know, something could happen if you don't love yourself. You've basically left holding nothing. Yeah. So, you know, for me, I had to learn the hard way about that. And I sure don't want anyone else to go down that road.
Speaker 2 00:19:58 And yeah, I think, I think that most of us do go down that road. I, I really believe that, that, um, growing up and we get into school and we aren't the jock. We're not the the nerdy person. We're not in the top 2%, we're not advanced. We're not this, that and the other. You know, we're not chosen because we're, um, um, more intellectual than the other people. We don't grasp things faster, whatnot. And we automatically learn that we aren't as lovable because we aren't fond upon by other people. And when we learn that from the external, you know, we're constantly getting that message from everyone else externally. I th I find that I find more, more often than not, and I'm stumbling over myself because my brain is like really firing right now. But more often than not, we aren't taught how to love ourselves by people who did love themselves.
Speaker 2 00:20:58 And that comes from our parents. That comes from their parents. It comes from this societal gift down through everyone surrounding us. And so coming to the point where we recognize that it has to come from within is a new awareness that is gaining more traction. More people are now saying, oh shoot, I gotta do that. And it doesn't look like something pretty because it looks hard <laugh>. It's really hard to change that internal non-self voice from you're not good enough to, I love myself and I am amazing and I am good enough exactly as it is right now. But that, that, that gift that you gave to your kids of, I want them to know I'm my best mate. I'm my best friend and this is fantastic, is a gift that we all need to learn. We need to teach our kids. And yet we also need to emulate that behavior for the other adults around us.
Speaker 2 00:21:55 Because the more of us that start owning it and saying, I am valid as me as this beautiful human being, um, and you are too. Like if I valid, if I validate myself and love myself, I'm also going to love you even more and say, gosh, you're just amazing. Look at you. And that spreads that love and that gift. And people can find it within themselves more because it is I absolutely agree with you 100%. It's all within. When people say I can't find joy, it's uh, well where are you? Where are you looking? Are you looking at it exactly. Yeah. Are you trying to get it from the food that you're eating or from the validation from people? Or where are you seeking joy? And what actually fuels your heart and your soul in that moment to bring you that joy? And what are you doing to encourage that love? So how do you personally encourage your own self-love? Do you, do you trip up? Do you have pitfalls?
Speaker 3 00:22:54 I do. I have a lot of pitfalls. I am the biggest self-doubt. In fact, I was on a practitioner group just this morning and they're like, what do you wanna smash out in the next year? I'm like, my self-doubt <laugh>. You know, every time I get new cotton I'm like, can I do this? I dunno, <laugh>, I know I can. Yeah. But I have that moment. So, you know, what do I do? I actually, this is gonna sound crazy. I have cats, right? And every time I feel like I'm not loving myself for who I am, I watch them for a bit. Now I have a 17 year old cat and I have a nearly 11 month old kitten. Okay? And both these girls are very different personalities, but they do something that all cats do. And this is the biggest way to teach you what self-love is.
Speaker 3 00:23:44 Okay. Whether you like cats or you don't like cats, just watch one for one day and you'll see what I'm about to say happen. Okay? The cat walks up, you are there, they're human, right? They don't particularly need you, want you or love you at any given time, but they need want and love themselves. Now cats have this, you know, great way of self soothing and calming and it's called purring. So we pick up a cat and we think, oh, it's purring. It's so happy. It might not be, it could be really anxious and it's self calming using its own love frequency. But when we pick up a cat that's purring, whether we know how or why it's purring, we start calming because that frequency and that vibration from the pur calms us. Now, you know, you might have come home, you've been out all day, you're exhausted, you see your cat, you just wanna pick it up and give it a cuddle.
Speaker 3 00:24:46 And it just kinda looks at you, dismisses you and goes off and licks at leg, licks at leg or something <laugh>, you know, or plays with a toy or curls up and goes to sleep. They don't need that external valuation or, uh, belonging with you. They love you, but they love you when they want to love you because they love themselves first. Yeah. Now you go and sit down and you know, you've got your caper and you're watching some tv. Kat comes and sits on your lap and all of a sudden there's this loving exchange and she says, you know, human, pat me, I'll pur for you. Love me, adore me, worship me <laugh> for as long as I wanna sit on your knee. Not for as long as you want me to sit on your knee, but I'm going by my own beat here. Yeah. And you have this wonderful exchange and you feel great because the cat's purring.
Speaker 3 00:25:38 And you're like, oh my goodness, she's so cute and she loves me so much. And then she's like, yeah, okay, done. I'm out. She's perfectly happy. She doesn't have very many moments in her life when she's not happy. Okay? Yeah. Because she loves herself. She knows who she is, she knows what's important. You are there. She knows you are there. She knows that you love her and she knows she loves you. But only when she needs to show it. Because first and foremost, she has to show it for herself. So, you know, I watch my cats and I go, when I have these self-doubt moments and I go, they don't self-doubt at all. This is a stupid thing that I do <laugh>. They don't do it. I'm the only one being harmed by it. My clients, yeah. Don't even know that. I go, you know, you client, I wanna be the best and do the best and all that for them. Yeah. They're just trusting me that I will do that Uhhuh, it's me that's questioning it. Yeah. So it doesn't affect anyone else but me. So, you know, for the listeners out there, all I can say is, you know, self-love is a hard job, but if you forget how to do it, watch a cat, they'll do it.
Speaker 2 00:26:50 <laugh>. Yeah. I I absolutely love that analogy. I have three barn cats and they are all very different. Um, and yet there is this one that, um, her name is Andy. And she will come up to you and meow at you to say, I want you to pet me. But then when you bend down to try to pet her, she moves away like, I'm not sure I want you to touch me. Um, but she wants your attention in that moment. And she's not a social type cat. She just wants you to know she's there and then she's off to do her own thing. And you're talking about your cats and their self-love. And I'm like, yeah, that's totally Andy. I mean they're, it's all my cats. But she very, very much shows that in a, in a very drastic manner. You know, that whole, that's a beautiful, we
Speaker 3 00:27:40 Can, even though we can say it like in a pride of lions, right? They're very social. Yeah. But they have a hierarchy. Everyone loves the king. Right. But if you look at a male lion, the leader of the pride, he's actually one of the laziest scoundrels there is. He doesn't do any of the hunting, you know, he doesn't do any of that. But he'll protect his pride when he needs to and he'll fight for his dominance. But everyone loves him and he loves everyone. And he will have a relationship with every single lioness in his pride. And he will have that moment where he goes, do you know what? She needs a bit of love. I'm gonna go do a head poop on her.
Speaker 2 00:28:21 Yeah.
Speaker 3 00:28:22 He knows who he is. He's really proud of himself and he loves everyone. Now every lion s is similar. So they all have a relationship with aunties, with moms, with grandmas, with daughters, you know, all lioness will stick together. They all have a loving relationship, but they all love themselves first. So, you know, a lot of animals will do this, will see, you know, mother animals protect themselves over their baby in, in a time of threat. Now I live in Australia, kangaroos do this, okay, I'm going everywhere, but I need to kind of illustrate it as well as I, it can. So female kangaroos hold their joey in their pouch if they don't think they can get away and survive. Cuz these joeys can be really big and heavy. They will actually eject the joey from the pouch and save themselves. Are they being selfish? No, they're going, okay, I love this Joey. I really hope he or she makes it. But if I die, there's no more jellies.
Speaker 2 00:29:27 Yeah.
Speaker 3 00:29:27 Right. So I love myself enough that I know what an integral part I play in keeping my mob safe and alive and my genetic line going. I have to save myself now as human mothers. You know, I'm not saying throw your kid out the window or whatever. I'm not saying anything silly like that. But as human mothers, we give and give and give and give till we've got nothing left. Right? Yeah. And the kids grow up, they leave home and then we're like empty nesters. What do we do now? Who am I? What am I doing? I don't have five other things to do this very second. Yeah. What does that mean? But what we need to do is while our kids are growing up and becoming young adults, we need to go, who am I? What's important to me? I'm going to do that.
Speaker 3 00:30:15 And that's something I had to learn. I have a big whiteboard outside my office and I put where I'm gonna be and where everyone else needs to be. Cuz I've learned I can no longer be the walking diary for everyone. My boys will come up. What are we doing today? I don't know. Look on the board. Yeah. It's not my job to do everything for everyone. Yeah. It is my job to go. I need to get out in the sunshine today. I need to do some grounding in bare feet and dirt today. I need to go and have a cup by myself today, <laugh>. You know? Yeah. That's what I need. So I've learned now through my journey and through watching how the animal kingdom works and having a lot of life lessons. Yeah. Thrown at me. I've learned I have to do me first because then I can be a better mom.
Speaker 3 00:31:04 I can be a, you know, a better cook when they tell me what they like to eat <laugh>. Because I'm not gonna stand there cooking four different meals in a household and no one likes it. So I now get them to write a menu and I go, all right, I'll do the shopping and I'll cook it. That's fine. But if you turn around and tell me like tonight taco night, if one of them turns around tonight after I've cooked tacos and it's been on the board for a week, that they don't feel like tacos, bugger 'em, they can go hungry. <laugh>. Because guess what? We have a system so that I have time for me so I can respect and love myself.
Speaker 2 00:31:41 Yeah.
Speaker 3 00:31:42 I'm not going to be running around in 20 different directions anymore. And so, you know, I've learned that through watching animals and through, you know, listening to my clients now looking back at my own life journey and going, no longer can I see all these non-self factors for love, I have to look at myself. That's where it comes from. That's where it's at. That's what makes me tick basically.
Speaker 2 00:32:13 I love it. And there are a couple things I'm just like, ah, I love that you've brought the animal kingdom in because we are another species in nature, right? We are, we are we, we operate different than the elephants and the ants and whatnot. But we are still another species in nature. And yet if you step back and look at how other species work and how they come together, oftentimes they have a group like you, you brought in the lioness and they will help raise each other's cubs. It's not one lioness doing it all on her own. Yes. They go hunting. Yes. They're doing all of the other things to help support the pride. And yet there is this group mentality of supporting and helping each other so that they can all nurture and thrive and live. Right. There's not, you are better than me.
Speaker 2 00:33:00 There's not that kind of competition or let me tear you down. It's literally, hey, we're all here. It's all good. How can we work for the benefit of the group instead of let's minimize that person and how can we change the hierarchy? Right. There's, there's just not that mentality. And so looking at the way that nature operates, we could really learn a few things from them and from how they come together as a group. How they nurture each other. And I love the fact that you are literally showing your boys that not only do they need to love themselves, which you have worked hard to make sure that they do, but also that hey, I have value and worth and I deserve me time. I deserve a break. So I am literally going to schedule it in and you can see it scheduled in. And if you have a problem with that, that's your problem, not mine. Which means that your boys are growing up and when they find a partner, they are going to allow and encourage their partner to take that me time. They will also emulate that same behavior and say, Hey, I'm gonna take some me time. Which in and of itself is something that I don't think we encourage enough in society right now.
Speaker 3 00:34:17 Very much so. And I mentioned my 11 month old kitten. Yeah. She's a Siberian and they are a breed that I've never had before. <laugh>. And I didn't even know she was when I got her. So she was a rescue and she is very needy, very clingy. She needs to be with someone all the time.
Speaker 2 00:34:40 Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 00:34:41 <affirmative>, even if it's just so that we can watch her walk around. She just wants someone around. She loves herself. She's self-assured. But sometimes she just, she wants someone around. Yeah. So, you know, I have learned pick her up, walk into one of the boys' rooms, hand her over and go, I'm out. I'm done. Your turn.
Speaker 2 00:35:01 Yeah.
Speaker 3 00:35:01 Because I have to, and we don't do this enough when, you know we're raising our own children or pets or even building a business, we don't do that. We put ourselves in and we go, if I don't do it, it's not going to happen. Well lean on the people around you. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and you know, just say, Hey, I need a break. Here you go.
Speaker 2 00:35:25 Yeah. Was there a defin, you know,
Speaker 3 00:35:27 Defining
Speaker 2 00:35:28 To, yeah. Was there a defining moment in your journey where you were like, oh my gosh, I have to start doing this?
Speaker 3 00:35:36 There was um, and it was actually around my divorce so oh I was already running a business. Um, I closed it down cause we had to move towns and I realized I couldn't sell the business because I'd built it all on myself. So it folded. I had to sell everything off and it was worth nothing because without me there it was nothing. And then when I moved towns with my, my kids, I did the same thing. I looked at them and I went, I have made myself so important in their lives that if something ever happened to me now being their only parent, what are they gonna do? So I've actually done them a really big disservice. So over the past 10 years that we've been out of that situation, I've been teaching them what to do. And you know, just saying, okay, I'm gone for the day. You need to clean the house. You need to get your work done. You need to plan and prepare the meal and I want all the curtains closed and the outdoor light on when I get home.
Speaker 3 00:36:48 You know, why, why am I no longer, you know, the old me would've rushed home to make sure dinner was on the table. I closed all the curtains, you know, everything was done. Make sure they've had showers. I don't have showers, it's not my problem. Right. I don't share a room with them. I'm not gonna smell them <laugh>. It's not my problem, it's their problem. <laugh>. So, you know, I've really learned over the past 10 years take myself out of it because one day I'm not gonna be here. And if I keep doing everything for everyone, how are they supposed to learn? How are they supposed to grow? And so, yeah, for me the turning point was like I said, closing my business and leaving town. And it was like, now what do I do? Because I've for so long made it about me needing to be there that I haven't given myself any time and I haven't given everyone else the right that they have, which is to learn.
Speaker 2 00:37:46 I love that point of view, Anna. I absolutely <laugh>, I absolutely love the point of view that that by my taking care of everyone else, I have actually robbed them of an opportunity to learn how to do it themselves. To learn how to achieve or succeed, to learn how to make a grilled cheese sandwich. You know what I mean? Like by doing everything for them, by picking up the pieces every time they crumble, they're not learning how to put their pieces together by themselves.
Speaker 3 00:38:18 Yep, yep. You know, a little thing happened here the other day and I said to my eldest who's arms are somewhat painted on, let's just say it's an expression here in Australia. I said, I need you to do this load of washing. I've shown him how to use the washing machine. Okay. But there was some socks that, you know, when you pull socks off, sometimes they're still in a like a ball. They'd gone into the washing machine like that, Uhhuh <affirmative>. And I got home and I said, okay great. Now that can all go in the dryer. And he looked at these socks and he said they're not gonna drive properly cuz they're rolled up. And I went unroll them, right? And we'd been in the bush, bush walking, so there's all sorts of prickles and dirt and stuff in these socks and all this stuff fell out of the socks. And he goes, oh, I can dry it now said, can you, if all that stuff just fell out of the socks, do you think the socks washed properly?
Speaker 3 00:39:19 And he goes, Hmm, I didn't think about that. Probably not. And he said, what do I do now? And I said, now I leave the laundry and you can look at the dirt on the ground and look at the sock and you can work out what to do. Next thing I hear the washing machine going again, the socks are back in. And you know, it was a learning experience. Could I have told him when I asked him to do the washing, make sure all the socks are unraveled? Well I could have, but then he wouldn't have been critically thinking about what needed to happen for the clothes to wash. So he's now learned something, he's now learnt that he needs to be, you know, more mindful of what he does in the task. Not just getting the task done, but how he approaches it and you know, the little things that are wrapped up in the task. So I can guarantee he will never put another load of washing on with bold up socks in it.
Speaker 2 00:40:13 <laugh>. Yeah. Yeah. It's the, you they have to put a thing of a thing of chapstick through the dryer once and ruin some clothes and then they're like, okay, I'm gonna check my pockets now. Or you know, whatever that is that goes through and they ruin it and then they learn that lesson of, okay, I've gotta take care of this cuz nobody else is gonna do it for me. It's that self
Speaker 3 00:40:35 Ownership. I, I've had a rule actually since they we're little, little, if you leave something in your pockets, it's mine. Right. If I do the laundry, it's mine. And my younger son had some money in his pocket the other day and of course he didn't empty his pockets. So, you know, I go to empty the pockets when I do the washing and I scored $12. He said, oh, where's that change? It was in my pocket. I said, what change? I don't know. Dunno what you're talking about. Once it goes into the washing machine, it's lost. Yeah. He looked at me, he goes, I don't think that's true. And I said, well I just assumed because your $12 of change was in your pocket, you didn't want it anymore. So now it's mine. Thanks. I'm gonna go and buy a coffee.
Speaker 2 00:41:20 <laugh> didn't go have a cup of Joe. I'm good to go <laugh>. Yeah. Because I'm taking care of you. Yeah. Ah, I love the lessons that we have, the ability to teach our kids, you know, and the way that we can teach them to critically think about life and how we have the opportunity and the ability to teach them to love themselves, to love others, to work through the challenges of life that will be presented. Because they're always going to be there. And if we can encourage them while they're at home to find those positive, healthy ways to discover and work through them, then it's just easier when they leave the house. You know, if we can teach them the self versus the non-self, how to listen to your own inner truth instead of the voices and everything that's out there telling us something different. If we can start loving ourselves instead of listening to the world telling us that we aren't smart enough or good enough or skinny enough or whatever that is, that's out there. I mean it's, it's amazing the gift that we can give them. And honestly, it's not just our kids. This is, I, I strongly believe that we have the ability to still emulate that behavior and encourage other people, even adults who don't necessarily live with us, who aren't under our tutelage and our watchful eye, that we can still demonstrate these super healthy, positive behaviors and help bring about change in the world to find a better way of being a more authentic, grounded, loving way of being instead of the judgmental crap that we have right now.
Speaker 3 00:43:02 A hundred percent.
Speaker 2 00:43:04 Yeah. This has been delightful and I'm really glad that you and I got to have a chit chat together. Is there something else? Is there anything else that you want to talk to, um, our listeners about or mention bring up?
Speaker 3 00:43:19 Look, there is, we do a lot of limbic work with our patients and what that is is, you know, we work with the, the center part of the brain where our thoughts and emotions all happen. And uh, so what we would love to, you know, offer the listeners is if there's something that you feel like you need to work on. If there's, if you are really struggling with self-love and you are really struggling with how do I take myself out of this equation for my own health, reach out to us, you know, jump onto our website book of what we call a root cause analysis. It's a full health assessment and you know, just write where your main concerns are, my limbic health and we would love to be able to help you do a free consult for you and just say, Hey look, this is probably the direction you need to go.
Speaker 2 00:44:13 And where do they find you? Where do they find all of your offerings?
Speaker 3 00:44:16 So everything is found on our website, which is www.holisticnaturalhealth.com au. So we are in Australia and it's holistic with a w in front of it. And we've actually also just added, you know, a great tool for self-love and that is our functional health essential oil blends. So there's a shop there, you'll find the root cause analysis on there as well. And our blogs are on there and our podcast, everything's there to give you all the tools that you need to put yourself first and be okay with that.
Speaker 2 00:44:54 Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, fabulous. You heard it here and we will also add it into the show notes so that people can follow that. Is there anything else that you're super passionate about right now and you just really wanna share?
Speaker 3 00:45:05 Look, there is, and <laugh>, you know, I love animals cuz I've spoken about them, but I just want you to all think of one thing. Humans are just a species. Okay? We are an animal species. We are no more important than any other animal species. So just in the next few months, just move through the world with kindness and compassion to all creatures because we're not special
Speaker 2 00:45:34 <laugh>. Yeah, I love it. Think about it guys. Look at it. We are a species. We are living in nature. We live a little different, but we are absolutely another animal living on this planet earth and using her resources. And just take a moment to step back and look at it. What, I have a couple questions that I always end with. Um, one of them is, what is your favorite type of self-care, however, normal or unique that might be
Speaker 3 00:46:05 <laugh>, it's actually my infrared sauna <laugh>. And I take my essential oils in there and I have 55 minutes of reading books and no one disturbs me
Speaker 2 00:46:15 <laugh>. Oh, okay. Now that's something you guys do a lot in Australia, right?
Speaker 3 00:46:20 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was lucky enough from one of my clients to uh, get a secondhand sauna. It's in my garage. And yeah, everyone in this household knows when mum goes to the sauna <laugh> don't follow her. It's the actually the only place I can have me time if I'm sitting on the toilet, they all come in and start talking to me, including the cats. Uh, but if I'm in a sauna, that's the no goes home. So, oh
Speaker 2 00:46:46 Yeah, I love it. I love that you cord that off. Okay. An infrared sauna and a nice good book. And then we love journaling prompts that make us think and work through stuff. So what journaling prompt would you have my listeners mull over and write about?
Speaker 3 00:47:02 What am I grateful for today? Now in that I'm going to go on a tangent. It's not just I'm grateful for the sun and my job and whatever. No, it's things like, I am grateful that my legs were able to carry me around today. I am grateful that my eyelashes shielded my eyes from the sun. Really start looking at the mechanisms of your body and what you're grateful for, because other people don't necessarily have that. And you are probably, I'm not saying that you are, but probably not as in tune to the wonderful things that your body's done for you every single day. So when you write down that I'm grateful for my legs carrying me around today, you know, that's, that's starting that self-love, that self-appreciation.
Speaker 2 00:47:53 Yeah. I'm grateful for that. My heart pumps and yeah, brings oxygen to every one of my organs. And I'm grateful that my lymphatic system is working and getting rid of all the toxins that I feed into my body. I'm grateful that I am able to think about me versus not me. And I'm able to filter that out and love myself a little bit more. Think about all of the things that you are lucky and blessed enough to be able to enjoy and endure because you are uniquely you. I love it. That is a fantastic journaling prompt. Thank you. Um, is there anything else that you wanna share? <laugh>?
Speaker 3 00:48:34 I think we've covered a fair bit. You know, just listeners, if if you need any clarification on anything, please just reach out.
Speaker 2 00:48:43 Yeah, this has been absolutely delightful and I hope that you guys have found little gems and little inspirations that you, hmm, I wanna check into that or I want to start doing that a little bit more. You are a gift. You are a finite resource and only you know what you need. So I highly encourage you to start putting yourself higher on the priority list and um, find a little more self-love. Magic. Thank you for being here.
Speaker 3 00:49:08 Thank you so much for having me. I've really, really loved it.
Speaker 2 00:49:13 Me too. Until next time, we'll see you again on Breathe In, breathe Out.
Speaker 1 00:49:29 Thank you so much for investing time into your own wellbeing. I sincerely hope this moment of self-care and healing brought you some hope and peace. I'm Matt Crystal Kowski on Instagram and YouTube and I sincerely hope you check us out and follow along for more content coming soon. I look forward to meditating with you again here Unrea in Breathe Out. Until next time, take care.
