Episode Transcript
Think meditation is hard? Do me a favor: take a slow, deep breath in and now breathe out. Congratulations! You just meditated. Hi, I’m Krystal Jakosky and this is Breathe In, Breathe Out: a Weekly Mindfulness and Meditation Podcast for anyone ready to own their own shit…and find a little peace while doing it.
Hello and welcome back to Breathe In, Breathe Out. I am Krystal Jakosky and I am here with you. Excited to do another episode and chat with you a little bit again. Thank you for joining me. Thank you for listening. Thank you for just choosing in for a little bit with you and me and a moment.
Today I want to talk about taglines. I have a few of them. The two that I want to talk about today are: “Own your shit” and “Permission to be you, Always.” They both have a very personal meaning to me and to all of my team. We all really kind of live it and it's fun. It's enlightening. It's beautiful.
And so I want to just share, and I know that I've talked about them a little bit here and yet I don't know how much I've really expanded into them. So “own your shit” is all about a personal ownership. It's all about recognizing that you're flawed, recognizing that you personally have issues and these issues contribute to how you act and react in life to things around you.
It means that instead of blaming other people, you recognize that you yourself have a contribution in the interaction that's going on. So instead of blaming someone for ignoring my texts and not giving me attention. Maybe I stop and recognize that, oh, I'm a little bit upset that I'm not important enough for you to react to me. Or I'm jealous that somebody else is getting more time or whatever other emotion might be behind that.
And then I get to say, okay, why am I jealous? Or why am I frustrated? Or why am I disappointed? And I get to dig deeper. I get to own, what's really there. Owning your shit means that when I disagree with someone and I get angry about whatever the context is. I get to stop and I get to analyze myself and I get to say, okay, why am I really angry about this? What happened before? What experience have I had that has left me open to being upset and frustrated about this.
And once you understand that, then you can understand why you were triggered with this other person. And you can have a conversation about what you are really upset about? What are you really frustrated about?
Own my shit means I am responsible for my actions, period. No argument, no excuses, no justifications owning my shit means I am responsible. I'm responsible for my words, for my deeds. Do I have integrity? And I follow through? Or do I say that I'll do something and then I let it drop? I'm responsible.
Nobody made me do anything. It's not. You made me mad. It's, I chose to get mad. Well, why did I choose to get mad? Because I have these life experiences that led me to that. I have to own my shit. My actions affect you. Just like they affect me. My choices affect me and the life that I'm going on, my choices affect those people around me. I have to own that fact.
I have to own the truth. That what I do affects me, everyone around me and that's just kind of the way it is. Because I see my own faults, because I see my own truth, because I recognize that I have a part in this. Then I'm also going to grant myself a little bit of compassion, right? Because we already knock ourselves down a lot. We already have a lot of low self-esteem or insecurities or personal problems. And it's, it's easy to just say, well, I suck.
Own your shit isn't about tearing ourselves down more. It's not about saying I suck. And then falling even further, it's saying no, no, no, no, no, that's right. I do have that. And then why do I have that? What's going on? And how can I make it better? It's about self-improvement. It's about recognizing You in who you are and where you are and how you are in this moment.
Take a moment and think about just how much of a shift and a change it would be if we all recognize no, no, no, no. You know what? I have flaws. I am no better than that next person. We all have shit. I'm going to own mine. You can own yours and together because we're owning our own shit. Things are going to be a hell of a lot better.
Life is going to be a little bit more kind and peaceful because I'm owning mine and you're owning yours. Now, Own your shit has coupled with and continues to be a nurturing part of “Permission to be you, Always.”
Now Permission to be you, Always was born out of experience, my own experience and the experience of so many other people like me that I have worked with as employees or fellow coworkers or clients. Just so many people. Permission to be you, Always is all about finding your own voice.
It's all about finding your own truth. It's about learning to hear and listen to your own guiding voice. Instead of every other voice that is vying for time and attention in your brain and your heart. Permission to be, you always is embracing the being that is you. Get rid of all the other expectations and sift down to the core, the being that is beautifully, amazingly wonderfully, You.
We've had a couple of people. A lot of people have reacted to this very beautifully. And, and, and it's kind of this Anthem that people need to hear that it's okay to be you. It's okay to let other people's expectations of you go by the wayside. It's okay to embrace your own truth and your own reality.
And yet there are people that are really worried that this owning your shit and permission to be you, always is feeding into a separation of society, which we already have and is very upsetting and very frustrating. And it's very sad that we are so very divided. It's very sad that we are struggling to find common ground, that we can all stand upon.
So we've had these responses where people are concerned and they want to understand more why we say own your shit and permission to be you always without coming together. And I want to dig a little further and explain to you more of the depth of this.
Each human individual needs healing. We all have experiences in our lives that have upset, traumatized, frustrated, shaped who we are and how we are in life. That is life. All of our experiences create us and your experiences are different than my experiences. And what you think my life is my, you might see mine as easy, or you might see mine as difficult. And I might see yours as easy or difficult.
The reality is that I'm not living your life and you're not living mine. So we have no clue. And there's really no reason for any of us to be comparing. Mine is harder than yours or yours is harder than mine. Change has to start from within. Our society has become more fractured and more individual and, and less cohesive. And part of that is because we are all so focused on me and mine.
And let me go and I can totally how own your shit and permission to be you, always can seem like it is contributing to that fragmentation. However, you cannot have a healthy whole complete society. When the people that make up the society are not healthy and whole.
The change has to come from within. The change has to come from each and every individual that is walking this earth. Think of it as making chocolate chip cookies. You go into the kitchen and you get your butter and you get your sugar and you mix that together. You get the eggs and the vanilla, you put those in. You measure out your flour and you measure out your salt and any other seasonings that you're putting into your chocolate chip cookies.
You mix them together. You mix them into the sugar and the wet batter. And then you add your chocolate chips. Maybe you're someone who wants to add nuts, and you decide that you're going to chop up some nuts and put them in your chocolate chip cookies.
And then you bake these chocolate chip cookies, and you are so excited about eating them. And as soon as they come out of the oven, you take a bite. Something's just not quite right. It tastes really weird. And you go and you find out that maybe the nuts were super old and they had gone rancid. Or maybe the eggs were really old, but some of your ingredients were tainted. They were not good to be using in your chocolate cookies.
Our society could be this unbelievably delicious, the best chocolate chip cookie that you have ever had. Nice, hot, fresh, warm out of the oven. That is so delightfully, mouthwatering and exciting. But if one ingredient as messed up, if you use too much salt, maybe you used almond instead of vanilla. You can't have that perfect chocolate chip cookie. If every ingredient isn't equal to the task.
Own your shit and permission to be you, always are about making sure that you have those fresh ingredients, making sure that everything is positive and healthy and good for you to create and make this wonderful chocolate chip cookie.
Me recognizing that I have faults recognizing that I have flaws recognizing that I'm broken and challenged and have my own issues. Means that I can look at one of my employees or I can look at a stranger on the street, or I can look at a family member that might be really frustrating. And I can say, you know what?
You have shit too. And your shit's different than mine. And yet I'm going to just understand that. And I'm going to give you some compassion instead of being pissed off and angry at you or pointing my finger at you or blaming you for this or that or the other.
I'm going to stop. And I'm going to say, you know what? It's okay. You've got yours and I'm just going to send you a little bit of love. And boy, we all know I got mine. So I'm going to give myself a little bit of love too. And by giving myself a little bit of love, I am a better ingredient for those chocolate chip cookies.
I really hope that we can all recognize our flaws and not see them as a negative thing, but more like a positive thing. There's a culture, an Asian culture, where if a vase has broken, they melt gold and they put that gold in the vein and put it back together. And that vase is actually stronger where that gold is in the crack.
And I want to look at our flaws and I want to say, you know what? Dang Skippy, we've all got flaws. And yet we all learn something from those flaws. And not only did we learn something from those flaws, but because we learned something, we are stronger in that spot.
I learned how to give more compassion because I did not have compassion at a certain point. I learned how to be generous because ABC, like looking back and forth at it, what gift did you receive from those cracks in our character?
And yeah, sure. There are going to be times that we find those flaws. We find those cracks and we still, we need to melt the gold and we need to put that veining in there so that we can be stronger because we need to address those flaws and we need to address those hiccups and those breakages and those challenges.
And there are other times that we're going to be able to look at it and we're going to say, Nope, I'm good. I'm all right. Love. Compassion. And coming together to make that chocolate chip cookie.
I pray that we can all own our shit. I pray that we can all find permission to be ourselves and grant others that same loving gift. And I really hope that we can all enjoy a delicious chocolate chip cookie together. I think I'm going to go make some now and I'll see you next week here on Breathe In, Breathe Out.
I hope this moment of self-care and healing brought you some hope and peace. I'm @krystaljakosky on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube and I hope you check us out and follow along for more content coming soon. I look forward to being with you again, here on Breathe In, Breathe Out. Until next time, take care.
