Episode Transcript
Think meditation is hard? Do me a favor, take a slow deep breath in and now breathe out. Congratulations, you just meditated. Hi, I’m Krystal Jakosky, and this is Breathe In, Breathe Out: a Weekly Mindfulness and Meditation podcast for anyone ready to own their own shit and find a little peace while doing it.
Krystal Jakosky: Welcome back to Breathe In, Breathe Out. I'm Krystal. Jakosky your host. And I am so thrilled that you're here today. We are going to have a little chit-chat with Emily McGill, and I'm really excited about this episode. I hope that you are too. Emily McGill is a spiritual seeker, a terror reader, a storytelling strategist, and she is a deep believer in the power of community after nearly a decade and a half of working in the entertainment industry in New York City as a Broadway and entertainment publicist, and a communications consultant. Her path of self-exploration led to healing evolution and reading terror professionally. She was invited to read for the Virtual Burning Man in 2021. And Broadway's dry speakeasy club. Curious. Emily has also been featured by the Tamarin Paul show, the New York Post, and Thrive Global. She writes playbills, Broadway horoscopes, and is currently in development - I'm really excited about this - is her own deck, the Broadway tarot. So, welcome to our show.
Emily McGill: Thank you so much for having me, Krystal. I am thrilled to be here.
Krystal Jakosky: So when's your tarot deck coming out? Are you still working on it?
Emily McGill: That? That's a great question. I am still working on it. I'm looking for a publisher. I had been in talks with one and, that didn't work out. So I'm trying to find a publisher and see who might be interested in helping me bring the Broadway TA to life.
Krystal Jakosky: Oh. But I'm, I'm excited and I really wanna be kept in the loop as you're doing that. Because I think that would be really cool. Yeah. So I wanna know a little bit about what we're gonna dive into, what Tero is. I want to know first off, what brought you toter and what other unique fascinations did you encounter along the way.
Emily McGill: I started my journey towards it or my awareness of my journey towards it in 2014. I had been working diligently on making my Broadway career happen and that summer my grandmother passed away and she and I were very close. She was a very complicated woman. She had a lot of family trauma that had been passed along that had continued to pass along. But we were very close and I loved her very much and there was a lot of stuff wrapped up in her transitioning. And I went to therapy for the first time. That was the first time in my life that I was like, you know what? This is the time. And I was really lucky. I didn't have to date the way many people do when it comes to therapists.
Trying to find somebody that fits. On the first go I met, I mean, I still see this woman, not as frequently as I used to. I have somebody else that I see regularly, but like I still do sessions with my therapist because she was that impactful. She introduced me to tarot, so we would pull a card every now and again in a session if I didn't know where to go with something or I wasn't sure what was coming. I would just have a question, you know, and we sort of would talk through stuff and she'd say, well, why don't we pull a card? And so we would, and that's how it started. And then in, I would say probably like 2017, 2018, I was looking for a practice for myself, something to do every day.
It was just for me, didn't have anything to do with anybody else. And she said, why do you pull Aero card? And I said, well, I don't have a deck. She said, so get an app for your phone because there's an app for everything I found. I got an app and it was $10, which is pricey for an app, but for a tarot deck is not much at all. I started pulling a card every day, cause I would just tap the button on my phone to get rid of that little red dot. And, before I knew it, I was doing a daily reading for myself. And so I was doing that pretty regularly. And I started using that for friends, doing readings for friends, on my phone and it was not very conducive.
Shortly before the pandemic started, I was gifted my first deck, my first physical deck. I was able then to start actually exploring, doing readings for other people. So I was doing that for a bit. And then of course everything went online. So I have shifted to doing online. You now have, now that we're at the point we are in the pandemic we're sort of learning to have to live with things. I've had many more opportunities to read in person, but, digital is still huge. So it's been a windy journey.
Krystal Jakosky: <laugh> Yeah. So question for you that first time, what had you ever encountered Tara before your counselor therapist? I don't know what you wanna call her before she recommended that. Were there any preconceived notions that you had prior to that introduction to it?
Emily McGill: I didn't really think much of it to tell you the truth because the deck that she had me use the first time is called the OSHA Zen deck. And it's not as obviously a Tara deck, it has some Oracle deck aspects to it. Each of the cards isn't just the queen of wands, it's got a name, and there are words printed on each one. And so it was, it almost had as much to do with the word and the imagery as it did like Aero card. It felt a little more Orly in that sense. And so it was, I don't know if that meant it was a softer introduction or what, but I didn't have any kind of qualms or really questions about it. I was curious about it. There were other people in that therapy community that had started reading Tara, thanks to my therapist, you know, prior to me having my sort of introduction. I was very curious about what they were doing. And I started receiving readings from a few of the different people that I knew in that community and, that also helped fuel my interest. But you know, I had, of course, the preconceived notions that we get from pop culture. But it was really more curiosity than anything for me.
Krystal Jakosky: That's cool. First off, I just want to say shout out to not having to date, to find a good fit <laugh> I lucked into the same thing, like there is this heart, this spot in my heart for him and just how he helps to change my life and open things up. So congratulations on finding somebody that is so great. I want you to tell people because you were talking, you mentioned the queen of whatnot. Tell us about terror. What exactly is it? Tell us about the structure. Tell us about the deck, demystify it for anybody that has not encountered it or has those preconceived notions of that's just a bunch of woo woo stuff and you probably shouldn't be doing it.
Emily McGill: Absolutely. My pleasure. <laugh> so I like to say that Tara is a physical or a visual representation of information that you hold within yourself. It's something in your gut, in your heart, in your core, that hasn't quite made it up to your head yet. And this is a way we can communicate with ourselves and translate that information for our brains. You know texting yourself and me, right? Like it's, this is how I feel in this moment about this thing. So that's how I like to look at it that it's this sort of visual way of tapping into your intuition or of physically being able to see how you feel about something without necessarily having the language or the words to describe it. And the cards never lie, you know, and that has nothing to do with me or you or anything, but it also has everything to do with that because we are just here shuffling and picking up some cards, right?
There's not more to it than that, but at the same time, each of these cards has a really specific meaning that the hero is built out of a sort of two parts. So we have the Major Arcana and the Minor Arcana and our major Arcana they're like our magic cards. So when they show up, we pay special attention to them. There are 22 of them and they correspond to the human soul's evolutionary journey. They give it like the hero's journey, right? So it starts with the full zero, the number, and that's like that fresh. And the way we go we're off to see the wizard, right? Like we're leaping out onto this journey, very trusting, very naive energy. And then as we move through all of these different phases of life and of this hero's journey, we end up with the world, which is that very completion G so it's whole healed.
Holy really like, right. The core of that word is wholeness. And so there's this healing vibe of that. The Minor Arcana is more like a traditional deck of playing cards. So you've got four suits, ACE through 10, and then you have court cards instead of three. So you'll have a king and a queen and a night and a page. Sometimes you'll see a prince and princess. Sometimes it'll be father, mother, son, and daughter because it's all archetypes. So the court cards tend to correspond to the people in our lives or those qualities of that card within ourselves. And the number of cards tends to be more about situations or experiences. So I know that's a lot of energy, very fast. It's a lot of information to try and download, but it's all to say that there is something there, right? There's scaffolding that this is built on. Isn't it just like this random card means this random thing.
Krystal Jakosky: Right. It's not a willy-nilly kinda whatever. Hey, let's just pick a yeah. There's more structure to it, behind it, and supporting what's really actually going on. I like that. You say it's like you're setting yourself a meme. How many times do we just scroll whoever's on our phone? And then all of a sudden we stop because it speaks to us. We don't really know why it does, but it does that right there in that moment is a little GIF, a little message a little, Hey, here you go. And Tara can be, is very much like that. It's Hey, let's just step sideways for a second and take a moment to look in and see and do
Emily McGill: Yes. And connect with yourself.
Krystal Jakosky: Yeah.
Emily McGill: I think that that's another thing there's always this misconception of it being Satan or the devil's work or whatever. Right. And there's, I understand that people who are raised in a religious setting and with certain belief systems and faith practices have the ways they like to think. And by all means, please live your life. Don't hurt anyone. But I just wanna invite you to understand that this has nothing to do with that. It's really only about a relationship with yourself and how you can communicate with yourself and how you can listen to yourself. It has more to do with spirituality, which to me is about your own relationship with your highest power or God or the universe or a lot, or whatever you wanna call it. Right? It's about your relationship with this thing versus more of a religious way of thinking of the structure and the community and the systems that we build in faith practices, oftentimes in religion.
Krystal Jakosky: Yeah. I tell people that we need to tune into our own inner guide, our own true self. And that is where we get the purest guidance and the purest love that could absolutely come towards us. Yet we're not necessarily taught how to do that. We're not taught how to open up. And there are so many different ways to describe it or to call it. Some people might just say I'm meditating. And that's how I tune into my higher self and other people it's terror and others will they go to somebody who helps them tap in, but it's the buffet of life where we all find what works for me, what makes it so that I have the ability to get the knowledge that I need. I actually taught my son how to do terror when he was in high school. He was an intuitive and emotional kid and he could feel the kids around him. He struggled in trying to find that balance. And so I showed him how to use terror and he would come home and he'd be really frustrated with something and he'd pull three cards for himself and he'd be like, oh, that's my answer. Great. And he could move on. And so it's beautiful how people can use it for themselves and really find that added just such a gift. Mm-hmm.
Emily McGill: It really is. It's just another modality that's available to us. Another tool that we can use.
Krystal Jakosky: Yeah. Another tool. So I hear that. You're gonna do one with me. Yeah.
Emily McGill: Yeah. Let's do a reading.
Krystal Jakosky: I'm excited.
Emily McGill: Good. Is this a reading for you? Is this a reading generally? Is this, I think anyone who's listening to this, like something is gonna resonate and if it doesn't resonate, leave it. Cause it's not for you.
Krystal Jakosky: Amen. I absolutely wholeheartedly agree with that statement. The first thing that came up for me was what do my listeners need to hear? That was like a question that automatically came up so we can totally go very open and generic and just say, Hey, what needs to be out there right now as the gift today?
Emily McGill: I feel like we must in honor of the show, do what you need to breathe in and what you need to breathe out.
Krystal Jakosky: Mm-hmm, that's great.
Emily McGill: That just kind of came to me. So I think that's what we'll do.
Krystal Jakosky: That's our higher power talking saying, Hey, yeah.
Emily McGill: Right. Here's something: what do we need to breathe in? And what do we need to breathe out? All right. So I'm gonna chop these one more time and then I'm gonna have you, you cut this deck.
Krystal Jakosky: Okay.
Emily McGill: And now I'm a theater kid. So everything I do is very collaborative. So I will pull these cards, but we'll also talk about them and I'm gonna ask you how things resonate and how they don't. Since you know your audience so well, obviously you'll also potentially be able to tell us what might resonate for them and where we might be able to find more clarity or deeper meaning, or maybe go down a different angle or path than the card could be saying to us.
Krystal Jakosky: Yeah.
Emily McGill: All right. Are you ready to cut them?
Krystal Jakosky: Uhhuh.
Emily McGill: Okay. Tell me when to stop.
Krystal Jakosky: Stop.
Emily McGill: All right. So, folks, this is what we are going to breathe in. Oh wow. We're breathing in the devil.
Krystal Jakosky: Oh.
Emily McGill: It is the devil card. And so I'm using a deck today. That's called the wild unknown. It's by Kim Crans, it's beautiful. It's all animal imagery. So in this card we see on a dark background, a white goat with big horns, four hooves on fire and it's upside down. So we're seeing that this is a reversal or an inversion. And this card is one of the cards in the major, which as I said, is that human souls, evolutionary heroes journey. Right. And the devil is card number 15 in the deck. So of 22 cards and we start with zero. So it's the 16th card that comes through. Right? We're getting close to the end there. Do you know what I mean? Like we're moving through this journey, this path, and the devil oftentimes symbolizes our shadows, the things about ourselves that we're not comfortable with, that we don't like about ourselves. The parts that we see as icky, the way that we respond in situations we react instead of responding, right. The things that we don't want to embrace, but we have to, because they're part of us, right? Like if we want to fully be a human, we have to embrace these parts of us that we don't necessarily like or love. Rather we have to embrace and love these parts of ourselves that we don't necessarily like,
Krystal Jakosky: Yes.
Emily McGill: Right. And so this devil card is telling us it's time to breathe. Some of that in, we gotta breathe in those parts that we maybe don't like about ourselves.
Krystal Jakosky: I'm not kidding you. I just had this conversation with my mom yesterday. <laugh> and last week I had this exact conversation with my sister-in-law about just that it's there and acknowledging that it's there and the power in recognizing that I may not be fond of this. And yet this is a part of me. Knowing that it's a part of me means I can stop fighting against it.
Emily McGill: Right. Because when you don't resist it, you are able to then use it.
Krystal Jakosky: Yeah. It becomes this. Oh, I recognize that you're there and I can move on instead of this. Oh, you're there. And now I'm scared into immobility because I cannot function with that in my face. It's completely different, I love it. That's so perfect.
Emily McGill: And this is what we gotta breathe in. Right? Like, let's breathe in that ickiness, that stuff that we're not proud of. And we don't need to be proud of it. Right. Like we just need to say it's okay that you're here.
Krystal Jakosky: Just because here's the thing, just because we accept that that is a part of us does not mean that we have decided that that is a part of us that we want to embody. And out to the world. It's a, I get it. I see you. And you are welcome to be a part of me, which takes away some of its power. So instead of being this giant boogie me, that is all-encompassing. It's just, yeah. I see you. It's the man behind the curtain. Right.
Emily McGill: I like to name them. I've named my inner child. I call her Emmy. I'm like, oh yeah, Emmy. She came to play today because we just ordered chicken fingers and fries for dinner for the third day in a row. Do you know what I mean? Like that kind of thing. I can look and see when she's been making the nutritional choices for the last couple of days. I'm like, right, right, right. That it's a lot of burgers, whatever the thing is. Oh, there was a lot of ice cream this week. Emmy was really in charge. My inner critic, my inner bully, I named after my childhood bully.
Krystal Jakosky: Oh yeah. Yeah.
Emily McGill: I gave her a name to say this isn't you talking to you right now? You know, this is a part of you that is there, but that's not all of you. And that's not the part we have to lead with, the part we have to embody.
Krystal Jakosky: Yeah. The part that I have personally, for everybody moment of vulnerability for you, my personal one has actually been a lot of social anxiety. It has been this experience where I've really had to step back and say, am I really that insecure? Did I really do something? Or is this another part of me that just wants to say hello? And so I am literally welcoming this little insecure, little K coming in and saying, I'm just anxious about absolutely everything. And I'm worried that I'm going to upset people. That is what I'm breathing in. So for my listeners, Hey guys, just take a moment. What is that part of you that is asking you to take it in, not in a negative way, but what is that shadow part of you that is just dying for a little bit of acceptance, and in finding that acceptance, will you actually create the self-care to heal and move forward? That was a good one.
Emily McGill: That's only what we're breathing in. We haven't even taken a breath out yet. So let's see what it is that we are breathing out. The four of swords. So remember I said, we have our four suits and of our four suits have wands, which is to fire our creativity, our passion, the stuff that lights us up. We have cups. That's our water. That is our feelings, our emotions, our intuition, our swords are the air that's mind mental. So that's anything knowledge, wisdom, communication technology, intellect language, right? Like anything in the mind. And then the earth is our discs or Pentacles or coins. And that's the physical, the material, the manifest. And you think about that ACE through 10 as another cycle, kind of like that hero's journey cycle that we have in the major four is oftentimes about rest recalibration, revisiting, seeing sort of, or taking the time to integrate, right.
It's like we've had the one, which is always like the really fresh out the gate, like ready-to-go energy. We've had the two, which are usually about balance or our crossroads, or like finding where we go from here. The three tend to be a little about structure or celebration. The four tend to be about resting and integrating and seeing what are the things that are working, What are the things that aren't, and we can see, this is a beautiful little lamb here on a dark background, but there's a lot of lightness that comes from its third eye that then lights up all above it, where we have four swords hanging above it.
Krystal Jakosky: Yeah.
Emily McGill: And you know, you look at this, you think, well, there's a lamb laying under four swords that does not look safe, but there is a serenity and a piece to this animal. Like there's no sense of fear or any kind of lack of safety, it is just chilling.
Krystal Jakosky: There's no unease. It's just like, I'm here in the moment. Yeah.
Emily McGill: Right.
Krystal Jakosky: I'm gonna take a breath.
Emily McGill: Right. And it's like these might be sitting above you. Right. You might feel like these ideas or these things, or the beliefs that we have about ourselves. Right. Any of these things could sort of drop at any moment. And yet we can hold them.
Krystal Jakosky: They are not in you. They are not of you. You can be separate from all the other crazy stuff that's going on. All of the other things that are demanding your time and attention, no matter how big and scary and terrifying they may be in this moment, just take the moment to be in it, to rest, let your light, you mentioned the third eye and how it's illuminating everything. And it's like the beauty about that it illuminates the shadows. There are no more shadows to be afraid of to be running away from. It's a serenity that seeing everything you have to deal with.
Emily McGill: And like getting these four swords into the light and seeing that it is okay, cool. So that's just great. That's what the handle is. That's where I need to grab it.
Krystal Jakosky: Yeah. I just want to cuddle up with the lamb.
Emily McGill I know it's so sweet. It's like burning a third eye there. So beautiful. Super chill. How interesting that we just pulled two cards that were a goat and a lamb.
Krystal Jakosky: Oh.
Emily McGill: And I know sheep and goats are different animals. Right. There is this idea of similarity. And like the things that we maybe do not love about ourselves, like being able to see the moments where they came from. And how the things that we don't love about ourselves did benefit us at one point in time. It's like illuminating light on the tools that don't work for us anymore, too. Breathing those out, is like breathing out the tools that did once work for us, but no longer actually serve us.
Krystal Jakosky: There you go. They're fantastic cards.
Emily McGill: And it's interesting too when we look at it, thank you. How we see that the color schemes are similar also, there's that pop of red and gold and sort of orange in both the third eye and the flaming hooves of the devil. It's like the lightness of both of their coats, the color, the light color of their coats, and the dark backgrounds.
Krystal Jakosky: So we're breathing in those things that we don't like, that we would rather not have. We are breathing out those things that we now see do not serve us anymore.
Emily McGill: That's a daily practice, a daily struggle, a daily challenge, a daily quandary, however you wanna call it. It's a thing that doesn't stop.
Krystal Jakosky: It is a choice every day.
Emily McGill: And some days we might choose to go the other direction and that's okay, too, right? It's the choice you have. And you have to be able to embrace the days that that person shows up too, that you don't like, cuz you want the other direction. That's part of it. And then letting that stuff go,
Krystal Jakosky: Letting it go and being a piece. Can we pull one more?
Emily McGill: Sure. What's this one for?
Krystal Jakosky: This is moving forward.
Emily McGill: Four of Pentacles, another four. This one is also about balance and foundation and how tenuous it could be. Remember our Pentacles, that's our physical or material or manifest. And we can see these four coins here. Each of them is bound to the others with some very fine threads. There are several of them. It looks like it's sort of a web being woven, but it's still in process and it's still in the early phases. So there is some, it does feel tenuous. It does feel fragile. Like it needs to be continued to be built and the structures and the systems really need to be put in place.
Krystal Jakosky: There's also this moment of patience in what you're building. Like, give it a moment. Don't rush it. Don't push it. It is happening. It is being built. Give it time if you break, if you push it, it might break. It might just collapse on itself. But if you just are patient and you take your time and you rest, when you need to rest, you breathe in that scary part. You breathe out that stuff that doesn't help. And then just give it a moment. Just there is a balance to be had here. There's self-care there's taking care of you and your own needs. And then there is the rest of the world that needs you here and present and able to just bring about change and transformation. So find balance for yourself so that you can give to yourself and give to the rest of the world and be just an amazing human being.
Emily McGill: Yeah. That's the reason they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first, right? Like if you can't breathe, how are you gonna help anyone else? But also, it's hard to see, but this card is also upside down. This is an inversion, believe it or not. And so we can see that there could be an opportunity maybe to maybe allow yourself to go a little off-balance if necessary. To release that if that's necessary, if like balance if you know if you're a Libra and you tend to cling to balance, that might not, that going off balance might be what you need in that moment. So I think there's an invitation in the inversion of this to explore the perspective of that, right? Like a lot of what you're saying is so important, making sure that we are taking care of ourselves first and having that balance of the interior and the exterior. This is saying maybe if you tend to do more I hear your stuff like you need to get rid, move into more of the exterior balance stuff, and vice versa. So there could be a lot of different ways to sort it.
Krystal Jakosky: Yeah. I am sure that everyone listening has come up with some kind of way that these all apply to them. And I think that is so beautiful because the terror is for everyone. It's not only for the people who like woo, woo stuff. This is something you can really absolutely tune in and find meaning and direction. You just have to give it that chance. Is there anything additional that you would like to just share with our audience?
Emily McGill: I always like to remind people that this might not be the thing for you, but it could be an opportunity for you to explore different practices or modalities or something else that might be of interest to you. It might help to plant things or crystals or, hypnotherapy or, sound bowls or whatever it is, right? Like there are so many different things, different meditation styles, guided meditations, whatever it is. There are so many modalities available for you to explore. So this one might not be it for you, but, perhaps this opened the door for you to consider another that you might not have thought of, but for now here is an invitation that all of these different sorts of tools that we use in the world in a more spiritually-minded, spiritually heart-driven world, that some of us are moving through. There is a lot available.
Krystal Jakosky: There's so much out there and it's just a buffet, guys. find what lifts your heart and just excites you. So can I ask you a few, just fun little questions,
Emily McGill: Absolutely.
Krystal Jakosky: Orange or green.
Emily McGill: Mm. Green.
Krystal Jakosky: Yeah. Okay. City or country,
Emily McGill: Both
Krystal Jakosky: Pine trees or salty ocean air.
Emily McGill: Well, I just went to Maine where I got both of those together for the first time also, but I'm still gonna go with pine trees.
Krystal Jakosky: Nice. Which season and why
Emily McGill: Summer, because I'm a summer baby and I hate being cold.
Krystal Jakosky: I hear ya. And then favorite kind of self-care that you didn't expect to be a self-care for you.
Emily McGill: I have two of them. One is something that I've started more during the pandemic, which is my yoga practice. I've found that 20 minimum, 20 minutes. Maybe I haven't really tried to go that low, but is the Shortt I'll do practice daily for 25 or 35 minutes, chef's kiss. It's so perfect. And just doing that time it has changed. My body has completely changed over the last two years. I mean, I have more flexibility than I've ever had in my life. I feel like my system can feel like the supple supplements. It's the yoga, it's the eating, right? It's all of these things that you don't notice how it makes you feel when you do it, but then when you stop doing it or you don't do it or you skip a day, why do I feel so off or wrong? What's wrong with me? So I would say my yoga practice and then I like my daily shower is like a day for me to, it's like a moment every day for me to just release everything that had come prior to that, whether it's from the day before or whatever. So I very much like my showers, like an inner D cleanse experience too.
Krystal Jakosky: Yeah. You literally get to wash, watch it wash all down. It's gone. You don't have it anymore. You're not carrying it. It's all brand new everything. When you step out of there so fresh and you just get to start again. It's fantastic. I love that. Thank you. So I just need you guys all to hear and understand and know that all of my listeners can get a 25% discount on a 30 or 60-minute reading using the coupon code cups on Emily's website, which is www.emilymcgillentertainment.com. So she's fantastic. She's fun. She's lighthearted. I highly encourage you to go and just check her out. You can find her at www.emilymcgillentertainment.com or she's also on LinkedIn. So check her out and thank you so much for being here today.
Emily McGill: Thank you. This is such a delight to connect with you. And I always love chatting with people that are open to exploring things. So that curiosity is always a delight.
Krystal Jakosky: I love it. I love it. I really hope anybody out there that is even remotely intrigued by tarot, check in with Emily, check in with someone, find apps, whatever it is. However you want to put your toes in that water, dive in, and check it out. Find something new and we'll see you again here next week on Breathe In, Breathe Out.
I hope this moment of self-care and healing brought you some hope and peace. I’m @krystaljakosky on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube and I hope you check us out and follow along for more content coming soon. I look forward to being with you again here on Breathe In, Breathe Out. Until next time, take care.
